Is three always a crowd? Find out...

It can be, at least in certain situations. Here's my take:

I feel I get to know someone better on a one-to-one basis. Adding a third person to the equation can change the dynamics of the encounter considerably.

A third person brings their own opinions and idiosyncrasies into the mix, some of which you may not find agreeable.

That's not to say that three or four close friends can't have a great night out. They certainly can.

But when you're getting to know someone, bringing another person into the picture can hamper your ability to get to know him or her on a more personal level.

This also happens when you already know the person and would rather talk about certain things you both like and typically talk about -- whether sports, the news, or celebrity gossip.

I've found that when it's a party of two, both people open up in ways they wouldn't with other people around, or they just act differently.

For example, when we first started dating, I never expected my now-wife to talk about the same things over lunch as she would if her niece, mom, or friend were to tag along.

In that case, I would anticipate the conversation centering on more than just college and movies; she'd likely discuss toys, a trip to the mall she and her mom had been planning, or a funny moment she shared with her friend as kids.

Obviously, you'd expect the third person to want to get a word in edgewise, which can ultimately steer the conversation in a totally different direction.

If two of the people like talking politics but the third doesn't, it can make for some pretty awkward moments. What's worse, a person can wind up feeling left out.

Not to mention that having a third or forth person on hand invites more noise and potential conflict. People can come to blows over the most minute things.

I always try to limit the number of friends to one (or two) per outing. Now, big groups? No thanks. Some people can become awfully dopey in the presence of others they know.

Bottom line: If you feel like getting to know someone or wish to discuss personal matters with them, a one-on-one meeting usually works best. Sometimes, three or four really is a crowd.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated. In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel. If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor. In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better. If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps. But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying. If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

Search This Blog