Why does society pressure us so much?

I realize this isn't the first time I've written on this topic, but it's something that continues to boggle my mind more and more with each passing day.

Why does society pressure us so much into following a certain course of action -- that is, the route everyone else has taken?

Just the other day, my coworker heard me saying I wanted to get a cat instead of a dog and gave me a 10-minute spiel on why getting a dog is the right choice. A mom of two, she based her argument on the assumption that my wife and I will have kids someday, and so she gave me her "mommy perspective."

It's astonishing how people just assume things this way. Most people think everyone aims for the big-house-with-white-picket-fence-plus-three-kids--and-two-dogs deal, but that just isn't always the case. In addition to wanting a cat instead of a dog, here are a few other ways I might be going against the grain:

I want to buy a condo, not a house (cheaper and less maintenance)
I may not want to have kids
I don't drink
I am not aiming to be CEO of a company (would rather have a task-oriented job than a people-driven one)
I am not a party person and would rather stay home writing and reading

I think people pressure you into doing what they did in your situation -- or doing what they think is right -- because it validates their own actions and beliefs.

When people give you advice, it's always best to take it with a grain of salt because, in essence, people's own experiences mold their outlook on life.

It might very well be that my coworker has had bad experiences with cats in the past and thus would not get one if she were in my shoes. That's fine, but it would be more constructive for her to say that from the outset and not make it seem like anyone who gets a cat instead of a dog is acting foolishly.

Sometimes people also need to look at things from the other person's perspective. She stressed that dogs are a better choice for pregnant women since they don't shed as much. That may be so, but if we don't plan to have kids, the point is moot, and that goes back to my earlier point: People make assumptions without knowing all the facts.

The takeaway point from all this is that people need to be more open to differing points of view, which, I know, isn't always easy to do.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated. In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel. If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor. In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better. If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps. But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying. If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

Search This Blog