Skip to main content

Loners tend to be loyal and intelligent

Do you picture loners as being antisocial, self-absorbed, and in a world of their own? New research from Wellesley College dispels that common stereotype and suggests loners can actually be loyal friends and quite amicable when you get to know them.

What happens is that people tend to misconstrue their reticent ways for snobbiness, rudeness, or lack of social skills.

While some of these people might very well be shy or self-centered not all loners should be characterized as such.

Studies show that loners tend to have a much lower need for social acceptance than their more gregarious counterparts. They're perfectly content staying in with a good book than spending the night out on the town -- and they don't apologize for it.

Loners still like to make friends, but they tend to maintain only a couple of close friendships. If they could have a universal motto, it would be "depth, not breadth."

Thus, they have relatively high standards for friendship, but once they put their trust in you, loners could make the best friends you'll ever have.

You just have to be certain you're okay with a loner's need for space and tranquility. For example, your reserved friend will likely pass on concerts and other events where loud noise and commotion are to be expected.

And it's really no surprise that loners have been found to be among the smartest people out there.
Their penchant for deep concentration and sharp detail skills allow them to immerse themselves completely in whatever subjects strike their fancy. Again, as long as loners can retreat to a quiet room devoid of distractions, they can dream up some pretty amazing things.

It's time we quash the notion that all loners are unlikeable misanthropes. Like everyone else, loners have a lot to offer the world. Some just need to be given a chance.

Have you ever met a loner, or are you one yourself? What was your perception of loners before reading this post, and what is it after having read it?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...