Why you shouldn't give up on finding love

If you're like many jaded people out there in the dating world, you've just about had it in your quest to find true love. You've lost track of the seemingly innumerable men or women you've gone on fruitless dates with.

A prospect seems promising enough in the beginning, but it all comes crashing down following an unsettling discovery -- she's been cheating on you all along, he isn't the thoughtful romantic that drew you in during the courtship and instead just wants to get in your pants, she's an unapologetic gold digger. You've grown tired of it all: the lies, the false appearances, the heartache, endless disappointment.

As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, you'll never find that special someone -- however elusive -- if you give up.

Instead, take some time to assess your love life and answer the following questions:

What do you feel you've done right?
What do you think you've done wrong?
In which areas is there room for improvement on your part?
Are you only dating people that others fix you up with?
Are you being too selective in your choice of dates -- or not selective enough?
Are you making the effort to meet people in the right places?
Have you tried to maximize your opportunities by meeting suitors online?
Could there be something you're doing -- or not doing -- that is turning prospects off?
Do you think that perhaps it isn't the right time for a relationship in your life?

Once you've answered these questions, you'll get a better sense as to alternatives far superior to giving up on love altogether. Maybe it's a matter of being a bit more discerning when presented with an opportunity to go on a date -- or, on the flip side, being less picky about the men or women you go out with.

As I've noted in prior posts, you should never change or give up on your goal if it's something you really want. What may warrant a few tweaks, however, is your strategy for getting there. Know what they say is the meaning of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Be positive. Believe that someday, you will meet someone who captures your heart, soul, and mind. Believe that someday, you will feel an intense physical, mental, and spiritual connection with a special individual -- the likes of which you've never experienced before. Even if you've been hurt in the past, you must never adopt the cynical mindset that all other potential suitors will do just the same.

If you close your heart to love, you rob yourself of the opportunity to have someone enrich your life with their unique quirks, passions, wisdom, and experiences. (Remember, a partner doesn't complete your life -- they merely enhance it.)

No one said love would be easy; for goodness sake, there's even a song titled "Love is a Battlefield." But you know what? It's worth fighting for. As long as you continue to believe in the power of love, remain open to it, and make whatever adjustments necessary to boost your prospects, you're bound to find your special someone soon -- sometimes when and where you least expect it. Be patient, but most importantly -- never give up!

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog