Skip to main content

A can't-miss tip to help you deal with people

Here's one important tip to remember when navigating the vagaries of human relationships:

You don't have to choose between being kind and drawing boundaries. Both can be done simultaneously.

 In other words, you can be courteous without permitting others to step over you. You can be firm without launching into an expletive-laced
tirade.

Unfortunately, some people struggle to walk this fine line. They can't help but vacillate between outright rage and saccharine kindness.

You'venbecause a person likes you doesn't mean they respect you.

And if you never stand up for yourself -- in a diplomatic manner, of course -- they'll just assume they can get away with everything and anything.

This extends to all relationships in your life -- your marriage, your friendships, and your work relationships included.

Now, standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean engaging someone in a fight, whether of the verbal or fist variety.

In fact, merely walking away sends this clear message:

"I WILL NOT give you the satisfaction of seeing me lose my cool, especially not around my friends or co-workers. My walking away doesn't mean you've won; it only means I no longer see any point in trying to mend fences, and my life would be far better without you in it."

If the other person has failed to reciprocate the kindness and respect you've shown them, you can either raise the issue in conversation or, you guessed it, walk away.

Decent individuals will respect your gesture and return the effort in kind, while those not worthy of your time will do just the opposite.

Those who say you can't be nice and steadfast at the same time are incorrect.

The key is to make clear (early on) that as much as you like and respect them, you will not allow them to:

  • Do whatever they want
  • Trifle with your feelings 
  • Stifle your voice
  • Treat you like garbage
  • Take you for granted
If they take exception to this, they're always welcome to get lost.

Because the fact of the matter is that nothing gives anyone -- man or woman, kid or adult, janitor or CEO -- the right to view others as less deserving of respect than themselves. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...
1 comment
Read More

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read More

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...
Post a Comment
Read More