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Difference between falling in love and staying in love

Though falling in love and staying in love might seem the same, they're certainly not.

So what's the key difference?

We fall in love by chance, but we stay in love by choice.

 Of course, whether we stay in love depends just as much on us as it does our partner.

If one or both partners cease doing these things, it's possible one or both can fall out of love:

  • Surprising the other with love notes, leaving little gifts, going on romantic walks at the beach, and doing other things that drew you closer together in the beginning of the relationship
  • Allocating time and energy for each other as opposed to always putting work or friends first
  • Infusing the relationship with variety so that things don't become routine (e.g., trying out new restaurants, visiting new destinations, etc.)
  • Being there for one another in good times and bad, whether it's to be present for a birthday or console the other following the death of a loved one
  • Striving to better themselves (e.g., lose weight, go to school, or get a stable job)
Falling in love with someone new can certainly enrapture us, but that's the easy part. Think about it: You're both starry-eyed, each trying your best to look good and not make any mistakes. 

Staying in love, however, takes effort. 

The true test comes when the honeymoon stage is behind you, the two of you know each other's flaws, and you're forced to weather arguments and hard times together. 

If the relationship is devoid of respect, trust, loyalty, and/or communication, it will not survive. Sadly, couples may realize over time that infatuation doesn't always evolve into a serious, long-lasting commitment. 

Once one or both partners realize that the relationship is going nowhere, they should end it in a timely manner before anyone gets the urge to cheat. 

It can be easy to blame each other when things fizzle out in the relationship. Rather than point fingers, both people should sit down and have a heart-to-heart. If they each want the relationship to survive, they'll listen to what the other has to say and work toward solutions. 

If relationships were easy, none would fail. Those who truly love each other will never allow anything to tear them apart. 
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