Difference between falling in love and staying in love

Though falling in love and staying in love might seem the same, they're certainly not.

So what's the key difference?

We fall in love by chance, but we stay in love by choice.

Of course, whether we stay in love depends just as much on us as it does our partner.

If one or both partners cease doing these things, it's possible one or both can fall out of love:

Surprising the other with love notes, leaving little gifts, going on romantic walks at the beach, and doing other things that drew you closer together in the beginning of the relationship

Allocating time and energy for each other as opposed to always putting work or friends first

Infusing the relationship with variety so that things don't become routine (e.g., trying out new restaurants, visiting new destinations, etc.)

Being there for one another in good times and bad, whether it's to be present for a birthday or console the other following the death of a loved one

Striving to better themselves (e.g., lose weight, go to school, or get a stable job)

Falling in love with someone new can certainly enrapture us, but that's the easy part. Think about it: You're both starry-eyed, each trying your best to look good and not make any mistakes.

Staying in love, however, takes effort.

The true test comes when the honeymoon stage is behind you, the two of you know each other's flaws, and you're forced to weather arguments and hard times together.

If the relationship is devoid of respect, trust, loyalty, and/or communication, it will not survive. Sadly, couples may realize over time that infatuation doesn't always evolve into a serious, long-lasting commitment.

Once one or both partners realize that the relationship is going nowhere, they should end it in a timely manner before anyone gets the urge to cheat.

It can be easy to blame each other when things fizzle out in the relationship. Rather than point fingers, both people should sit down and have a heart-to-heart. If they each want the relationship to survive, they'll listen to what the other has to say and work toward solutions.

If relationships were easy, none would fail. Those who truly love each other will never allow anything to tear them apart.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

Search This Blog