A red flag you're dealing with selfish people

It's normal to put yourself first every now and then. After all, if we constantly bend over for everyone but ourselves -- the demanding boss, the friend who's always broke -- our well-being will eventually take a major nosedive.

The people we have to be especially wary of the ones who take, take, take -- but never give back.

Relationships are about scratching each other's back. But this doesn't necessarily mean they always have to be 50/50.

There will be times where one person is more in need than the other, whether they're struck with an unexpected illness, they lose a loved one, or they get fired from work.

We all have to contend with adversity at different points in our lives, and we often turn to friends and family for support.

But what if they fail to accommodate you even after we've been there for them countless times?

It should be an indication that they're in it for themselves.

I can understand their not being able to lend you money each and every time you request it, or not being available to pick you up from the airport each time you land.

But declining your every request -- let alone never answering your calls or texts when you've communicated that you're the one who needs a hand this time -- sends a clear message. And that message is, "I don't care."

When it becomes apparent your time and effort aren't being reciprocated -- and will never be -- it can be a huge let-down, especially if it's someone we've come to trust and respect.

You really don't know who your true friends are until you're facing hard times. Those who stand behind you are keepers, while the ones who bolt show themselves to be selfish to the bone.

Do you really want the latter in your life? I certainly do not.

The good thing is that, at the end of the day, we don't need a wide circle of close friends and confidantes. Three to five special, reliable individuals is more than sufficient.

Refuse to be used. If you're dealing with someone who doesn't agree that relationships are a two-way street, you may want to nix them from your life.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog