A critical mistake people make in relationships

If there's one thing that leads a relationship down the road to ruin, it's when someone assumes that whatever they do -- no matter how selfish or heartless -- will be forgiven and forgotten, and that his or partner will always be there to receive them with open arms.

My girlfriend in high school learned this the hard way. She was as flaky as can be, telling me one minute that she wasn't ready for something serious and reeling me back in the next with hugs and tender messages.

Well, she was completely blindsided by my decision to end the relationship only a few months after we began dating. I just couldn't stand the games anymore, and I knew I could do better. I was then on my way to college, where a bountiful crop of single women awaited me.

I will admit that I probably asked for it. I was a bit of a pushover in those days, virtually worshiping the ground whichever girl I was interested in walked on. A similar situation played out with another girl I dated a few months later. After that relationship imploded, I started thinking that maybe I was somehow attracting these immature, commitment-phobic girls, and I needed to make a change.

The irony was that I was an unbridled romantic who poured my heart and soul into relationships and yet the girls I was drawn to seemed so emotionally vapid. I eventually learned that you don't have to tell someone you love them five times a day in order for them to stay with you. You don't have to buy their affection with gifts and constant love notes.

Instead, being a little mysterious -- leaving things to do the imagination -- can work wonders. No one wants to be the center of someone else's world; that's an awful lot of pressure to put on an individual.
People are more drawn to you when you have other things going for you in your life -- that makes them want to be a part of it.

Going back to the two girls I dated in high school, they relished the attention I was giving them so much that neither thought I'd do the unthinkable -- send them to you know where -- but I did. And it felt great.

Unfortunately, many people allow themselves to become doormats, and it isn't until they stand up for themselves that they finally earn the other person's respect. In many cases, it isn't until the latter gets dumped or scolded that they commit to changing their ways.

If you're currently not in a relationship and want to avoid this predicament next time you meet someone, simply make it clear from the get-go that you are not someone to be trifled with. That even though you're willing to give your heart to the right person, you will never let him or her take advantage of you. And you can do this by standing up for yourself when you think your partner is in the wrong.

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

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