It goes without saying that some people show a stronger need for validation from society than others.
Sure, I try to be friendly and respectful with everyone I come across. But that doesn't mean I am going to bend over backwards just to gain someone's favor. This is precisely what I see people at work and elsewhere try to do.
It's obvious when someone is trying too hard to be liked by everyone around them. He or she seeks to do favors for no reason and finds any excuse to strike up or butt into conversations. Feeling left out or ignored is their single biggest fear.
The ones I respect the most are those who can remain friendly and respectful toward others without resorting to pretentiousness.
In reality, virtually everything we do can be construed as selfish. If we do favors for the sole purpose of currying people's favor, then it shows that we care a great deal about how/what people think of us.
I don't care so much about being liked as I do being regarded as intelligent. If you go to my office at home, you'll see framed diplomas and plaques on the walls, not to mention rows of trophies that go back as far as elementary school. Some people might see that as a little over the top, but it isn't as if I am showing pictures of my office to people at work every day. I am just thr bookworm/scholarly type and take great pride in showcasing my academic achievements.
I suppose we all have an image we wish to convey. Some of us want to project friendliness, others want to deemed as stylish, cool, or intelligent. No matter what our goal is, though, one should refrain from trying too hard -- as it screams "pretentious."
In sum, you can be friendly and likeable without trying so hard to get on everyone's good side.
Sure, I try to be friendly and respectful with everyone I come across. But that doesn't mean I am going to bend over backwards just to gain someone's favor. This is precisely what I see people at work and elsewhere try to do.
It's obvious when someone is trying too hard to be liked by everyone around them. He or she seeks to do favors for no reason and finds any excuse to strike up or butt into conversations. Feeling left out or ignored is their single biggest fear.
The ones I respect the most are those who can remain friendly and respectful toward others without resorting to pretentiousness.
In reality, virtually everything we do can be construed as selfish. If we do favors for the sole purpose of currying people's favor, then it shows that we care a great deal about how/what people think of us.
I don't care so much about being liked as I do being regarded as intelligent. If you go to my office at home, you'll see framed diplomas and plaques on the walls, not to mention rows of trophies that go back as far as elementary school. Some people might see that as a little over the top, but it isn't as if I am showing pictures of my office to people at work every day. I am just thr bookworm/scholarly type and take great pride in showcasing my academic achievements.
I suppose we all have an image we wish to convey. Some of us want to project friendliness, others want to deemed as stylish, cool, or intelligent. No matter what our goal is, though, one should refrain from trying too hard -- as it screams "pretentious."
In sum, you can be friendly and likeable without trying so hard to get on everyone's good side.
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