When someone we care deeply for thinks of us only as a friend, a whole host of emotions can come over us -- from embarrassment to sadness to hopelessness.
But we needn't despair.
Here's what can happen going forward:
1. Once we realize the feelings aren't being reciprocated, we may decide to move on, causing the relationship to fizzle out.
2. We accept that the person wishes to keep it platonic and we carry on as friends.
3. We continue to pursue them even though they've made it clear they don't hold the same feelings for us. In this scenario, they may feel badgered and tell us to leave them alone. Or, they may eventually give in, much to our delight.
Most of us have been friend zoned at one point or another. We have to remind ourselves that it's not the end of the world, even though we convince ourselves that we'll never find anyone as wonderful.
Tell yourself this: If they were THAT wonderful, wouldn't they realize they have a gem in you -- someone who's at the ready to give them his/her heart?
Granted, we can't feel but feel attraction toward some people and not others.
We will always regard some people as potential partners and others as brother/sister types. That's just reality.
Rather than lamenting the fact that someone doesn't see us in the light we wish they did -- let alone allowing melancholy to seep in -- we should take it as a sign that someone even better may lie in the offing.
Who's to say that we won't actually be glad they turned us down?
Perhaps we come to realize that we didn't know them as well as we thought. Maybe they end up cheating on their partner, battling alcohol problems, or landing in dire financial straits.
And, as I alluded to earlier, the special individual we end up with could be a better match. Maybe they share our love of history or music, or their personality -- including their beliefs and attitudes -- meshes perfectly with ours.
A sigh of relief indeed.
As I've emphasized in prior entries, never force anyone to care. If they come around eventually, it'll be your decision to decide whether you still wish for a romantic relationship with the person.
The more time you invest in someone who can't reciprocate your romantic feelings for them, the more you may be missing out on opportunities with other great people out there.
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