How To Understand People

I came across this great quote on Facebook earlier today: "Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself on the inside and out." This quote rings true on so many levels. I strongly believe that a person is beautiful by being true to his or her self. Being your authentic self -- both internally and externally -- makes you beautiful. Why? Because it shows that you love yourself for who you really are. The best possible version of yourself isn't one prescribed by society. Lookswise, if dressing like a nerd, jock, or rocker represents the real you, then society is just going to have to live with it. The best version of yourself is one where you can be the real you without having to apologize or make excuses for it. Why have someone like a phony version of you? As the saying goes: "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not." As long as you're not hurting anyone by being your true self, don't let anyone talk you in...

Today is National Coffee Day in the U.S., meaning you can get your coffee fix at several coffeehouse chains without shelling out a dime. Among the ones giving out freebies is Dunkin' Donuts, where you can snag a free medium cup of hot or iced dark roast coffee. Peet's Coffee & Tea is giving consumers a free small cup of Peet's Major Dickason Blend with any purchase of a baked good, outmeal, or fresh food item. At Wawa, you can get free coffee in the size of your choosing. And Krispy Kreme is giving out free small coffees and glazed doughnuts, as well as $1 discounts on other drinks. Interestingly, Starbucks -- the largest coffeehouse company in the world -- isn't giving out any freebies. Instead, it will donate 70 cents -- the price of one coffee tree -- to coffee farmers for every bag of coffee purchased by customers in U.S. stores. The effort strives to alleviate two problems facing coffee farmers: aging trees, as well as a fungus called coffee rust that...

Apple today announced that is has already sold a record 13 million iPhone 6 and iPhone 6s Plus phones after launching both models just three days ago. The new iPhones will be available in more than 130 countries by year's end. Now, I have never owned an iPhone. In fact, I've remained loyal to Samsung when it comes to mobile phones -- I currently have a Samsung Galaxy S4 Active -- and TVs. I do, however, use a Mac computer at work and have been using my trusty iPod for all things music for roughly nine years now. But I have to give credit where credit is due: 13 million iPods in three days is a staggering number. Everytime I walk past the Apple store at my local mall, it is jam-packed with shoppers ostensibly looking to shell out big bucks. Apple has succeeded brilliantly at creating an appetite for its product like no other company in the world. When one thinks of cutting edge consumer products in the 21st century, Apple is top of mind. And the funny thing is that the c...

It’s no secret that society tries to dictate how we ought to live our lives – whether it’s the number of kids we should have, the kinds of people we should date, or the types of professions we should be in. What’s more, we often feel pressured by friends, coworkers, and relatives alike to follow a certain path – one that they themselves took (which may or may not have turned out favorably for them), or one that simply makes sense to them since “it’s what most people would do.”  Though they mean well, those closest to us don’t always have an answer to the grand question:  How can we be happier in our lives?  Read on to learn why heeding others’ suggestions isn’t always the surefire prescription to a happier life – and how looking deep within yourself and following your gut is a better road to take.  - Society says that, as a man, I should have an affinity for cars and tools.  In actuality, I’m into reading, writing and learning. - Society says that I shoul...

Unusual question, huh?  But have you ever stopped and thought about this? Pretend for a moment that you're someone of the opposite sex who's close in age. Do you think the hypothetical you would feel attraction toward the real you ? I know some of you might be tempted to say, Duh, I'm awesome." But let's try to be pragmatic here. I'll go first. I think it really depends on the hypothetical me's personality and interests. If she happens to be uber-adventurous, with a need to be out and about every weekend, then no -- I would definitely not date the real me. The hypothetical me would only date the real version of me if she likes: Deep, intellectual conversations People who don't chit chat and waste words The arts -- writing, drawing, music, film Exercising and sports Men with an academic bent -- those who'd prefer to have a book in hand rather than nail and hammer Men who love to learn Men who are passionate about animals and helpi...

How do you know it's time to close the door on a friendship or relationship? It's simple: You know the time is now when you couldn't care less about the person. Not only do you become completely indifferent to the individual, but you reason that your life would be better without him or her. You feel there would be more peace and less hostility if that person were given the boot. Doing this isn't always the easy, especially when you've known the person for a long time. But let's face it -- legacy alone can't sustain a relationship through the passage of time. People and things change. A person you deemed your closest friend or soulmate 10 years ago could feel like a nuisance today. You know that's the case when you hear the person's voice or see they're calling you and you instantly roll your eyes. I'm actually going through this as we speak with a friend I have known since high school. Long story short, this once-humble guy got a good j...

Don't you just love Fridays? There's nothing like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after a busy week. As I noted in a recent post, sometimes the "edge-of-your-seat" feeling that comes over us when the weekend draws near can be better than experiencing the weekend itself. I know for a fact that I feel a whole lot happier on Friday evenings than I do Sunday mornings. Just knowing that you'll be off the next two days is far more gratifying than waking up Sunday and realizing that, while you have the day to relax or do whatever else you need to take care of, you'll be off to work again in less than 24 hours. I'm not sure if you're the same way, but to me, Sunday doesn't start at 12 a.m. It starts whenever it is that I wake up, whether that be 10 a.m., noon, or 3 p.m. In other words, it could be 4 a.m. Sunday morning and I'll still think it's Saturday night. This always creates the illusion that the weekend is longer, even thoug...

Ever longed for a material good – be it a shiny sports car, luxurious watch, or posh pair of jeans – only to lose virtually all interest in it once the product is in your possession?  Have you rejected the advances of a potential suitor – one who literally worships the floor you walk on – in hopes of attracting someone who has no romantic feelings toward you? Even after landing a seemingly perfect job, have you  found yourself looking for “the next best opportunity” just a year or two later?  There’s no question we’ve all been there. But what many people fail to realize is that the journey tends to bring us greater satisfaction than the actual destination. The struggle to obtain our object of desire – that sense of being on the edge of our seat – seems to provide a higher level of excitement than the recognition that we have that object in our grasp. For example, most people (myself included) spend the work week yearning for the weekend to get here. Over the cour...

It's an interesting question. Do you like what you do enough that you would still do it even if you weren't being paid for the work? I'd venture to say that people in creative professions like writing (yours truly), graphic design, music, acting, and so on would say yes, as would those who work in charitable organizations devoted to a cause about which they're passionate. On the other hand, people who view their jobs as a mere paycheck are probably less apt to think this way. They're the ones already eying the clock at 4:50 and bolting out the door at 4:59. I'm one of the lucky few whose favorite hobbies (reading, writing, editing, proofing) coincide with his job responsibilities. I'm a copywriter/editor by day and a freelance writer at night. My true passion, though, is this blog, as it allows me to express myself myself freely -- with no politics or overbearing boss to get in my way. It isn't so much the work, company, or industry itself that...

Though the economy continues to improve, some job-seekers are still struggling to find work. To make matters worse, myriad employers around the country still receive scads of applications for every job opening they put out. This means that the competition for jobs remains fairly stiff. Without a doubt, getting a job – let alone the right job – is hard enough. But by heeding the job hunting tips listed below, you’ll not only learn how to make your resumes and cover letters stand out more, but also discover the little things you can do to make a favorable impression during interviews. Whether you are unemployed and have been job hunting for more than 6 months, or gainfully employed and simply longing for better career opportunities, these job search strategies will ultimately put you one step closer to snagging the job you want. Determine the type of job you want . Do you have your sights set on an account executive position at a finance company? A tax accountant post at a...

Thanks to how easy technology has made everything for us, people are becoming lazier and lazier by the minute. At work, people would rather wait five minutes for the elevator than take the stairs. And as I've stressed in some of my other posts, people are relying heavily on technology to do everything from send out wedding invitations to wish people a Happy Birthday. The world has gone digital -- in the process, our relationships with people have grown more impersonal. Traditional Hallmark cards? Written letters sent by mail? These things have gone the way of the dodo bird. While technology certainly has made it possible to do things at the push of a button -- things our ancestors could only dream of -- it has also made us lazy and complacent. I've said it before and I'll say it again here: I think people are spending too much time watching TV and surfing the web. This has contributed in part to what pundits and academics have been saying for years: Society is b...

I know this is largely subjective, but I wanted to see who you deem to be the most attractive celebrity in your country -- or, in the world for that matter. I am not gay, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I think Ryan Reynolds, who's starred in such popular films as "Safe House" and "Woman in Gold," is probably one of the best looking actors in the world of entertainment today. The guy has boyish charm, a great physique, and a sharp fashion sense. Now, as for who wins the top prize for female eye candy in Hollywood, most men probably think of bombshells like Pamela Anderson (well, maybe back when she was in her prime) and Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Reynolds' ex-girlfriend. The women I have in mind, though, are probably unknowns to most people: Paula Patton: Formerly married to Robin Thicke, Patton has been featured in People magazine's list of the world's most beautiful people.  Kate Upton: This Sports Illustrated swimsuit model has appea...

What better way to promote peace than with a mammoth, mouth-watering burger? Burger King, Denny's, Wayback Burgers, The Krystal Co., and Giraffas have teamed up to produce a massive burger comprised of the restaurants' ingredients -- all to raise awareness of the International Day of Peace, which is observed annually on Sept. 21. An Atlanta pop-up shop handed out 1,500 of them today in the name of global peace. The tradition was established by the United Nations in 1982. Burger King first reached out to McDonald's and proposed they set aside their differences for one day in honor of the International Day of Peace and create a burger that combined both restaurants' ingredients -- a "McWhopper," if you will. But McDonald's passed. However, four restaurants -- Denny's, Wayback, Krystal, and Giraffas -- all wrote to Burger King expressing interest in collaborating on this effort. The result? A gargantuan sandwich that melds ingredients from the resta...

For those of us who have full-time jobs, we spend 40 or more hours per week around co-workers. That doesn't include the amount of time spent around babysitters, mailmen, cashiers, waiters, bus drivers, and anyone else we come into contact with on a weekly basis. While some of the individuals we interact with are certainly friendly, good people, there are others who flat-out drive us up the wall. As I've mentioned previously on the blog, I'm an introvert. No, that doesn't mean I'm shy. It means that I become drained when around people for too long. I need ample time alone in order to recharge. That's why I often eat lunch by myself and make it a priority to "disconnect" from co-workers by taking a couple of short breaks each day. I can only take so much chit chat on a daily basis. Oftentimes, I come home drained and crave nothing more than to unwind in my room -- in complete silence. Am I a complete recluse or misanthrope? Absolutely not. I unders...

Many people say that those who opt to go the child-free route are displaying selfishness of the worst kind. Actually, I'd probably reserve that designation for those individuals who say that their main reason for having kids is to have someone there to take care of them when they get old . There are a host of noble reasons for having children, among them: Having a purpose in life beyond oneeself Loving one's own child selflessly Creating something that's a piece of you and of your partner Having an excuse to play with Barbie dolls and/or toy cars again Having someone to pass on ideas, lessons, and possessions to And the list goes on... Alas, two of my friends (both men) mentioned having a caretaker in old age as their primary reason for wanting to have kids. I don't know about you, but this irritates me immensely! For starters, who's to say that your kids will be there to take care of you once you get old? Have you not seen how many nursing homes ar...

Best known as the third commander-in-chief of the United States, author of the Declaration of Independence, founder of the University of Virginia, and the mastermind behind what was arguably the best real estate deal in the history of the United States – the Louisiana Purchase – Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) is ranked among the greatest U.S. presidents of all time. But many of the decisions Jefferson made throughout his presidency and in his personal life remain a source of controversy to this day.   For most of my life, I have been an avid U.S. history buff, soaking up information on virtually everything from the American Revolution to World War II like a sponge.  Since so many of our nation’s landmark events have revolved around the 44 men who have taken the presidential oath of office, I’ve always felt compelled to learn as much about them as possible.  I find that most history lovers tend to zero in on our most famous presidents – from Thomas Jefferson and Ab...

It's often been said that people who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. According to new research published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology , though, it appears that being reminded of our failures actually makes us more likely to repeat such behaviors. Per the researchers, remembering our past mistakes will not necessarily help us make better decisions in the present. In fact, thinking about our failures at self-control -- whether it's blowing a diet, racking up more credit card debt than we intended, or cheating on a partner one or more times -- leads us to repeat them. For example, thinking about a time when you blew a diet by eating an entire pizza pie by yourself makes you more likely to blow another one in the same way. Titled "Haunts or Helps From the Past: Understanding the Effect of Recall on Current Self-Control," the study is the first of its kind and was conducted by professors at the University of Pittsburgh and Vanderbilt Universi...

Just when you thought people couldn't get any weirder...this one ranks high on the list, alongside the woman I wrote about a while back who wanted to marry a tree. I recently learned that my alma mater was on high alert after a man allegedly hid under a table in the campus library and smelled her feet. A man who matched the description of the "foot fetishist" was taken into custody earlier today, and police confirmed that they got their guy. What would drive a person to do such a thing? Why would you want to be sniffing someone's feet in the first place? It's gross -- not to mention an invasion of privacy! I've heard of people having foot fetishes before, but this is the first time I've learned of someone being caught in the act. I can't imagine what could be so stimulating about another person's foot -- let alone the smell it emits -- but it seems there's something out there for everyone to get turned on by. What else might people find...

Whitney Houston (1963-2012) is one of pop music's most commercially successful artists of all time, with over 170 million records sold worldwide. With popular songs like "I Will Always Love You" and "How Will I Know," she remains the only artist to chart seven consecutive No. 1 Billboard Hot 100 hits. She also starred in a wide range of movies (and did work on their soundtracks) including "The Bodyguard" and "Waiting to Exhale." I read today that Whitney Houston's "hologram" is scheduled to tour next year. Yes, you read that right. Hologram USA has patented what it calls a high-tech version" of a 16th century illusion known as Pepper's Ghost. The traditional illusion includes glass and foil, to which Hologram USA has added a patented combination of computer generated images (CGI), audio material, and moving parts. So, in essence, fans will be treated to a 3D moving image of one of the most beloved pop stars that eve...

Whether we're talking career or relationships, one mistake far too many of us make is to put all our eggs in one "life" basket. What do I mean by this, you ask? Put simply, we start a new job or relationship and assume that it'll last forever; in the process, we let other potentially better opportunities pass us by. The downside to doing this in the realm of relationships, as I've elaborated on in prior posts, is that even after we get through the so-called honeymoon stage, we still try to overlook the other person's visible faults. We become so caught up in the excitement of a new relationship that we dismiss any potential red flags as our overthinking things. Unfortunately, these "flaws" come back to haunt us later on, resulting in problems that hurt if not damage the relationship beyond repair. I always encourage people to do the following when they've met someone new: - Don't be so quick to fall in love. Get to know the person...

Have you noticed that we spend most of our time in noisy, busy settings? Whether it's the ruckus of children at home or the ceaseless chatter of coworkers in the office, it is reasonable to expect ample commotion whereever several people are gathered. That's why, every once in a while, I retreat to quiet environments where I can almost hear myself think. These oases of calm allow me to feel more relaxed and rejuvenated: 1. Church (not during mass): I like stopping by my local church for a prayer when I know I'll be the only one in there. My faith is an important part of my life, and sometimes I want to feel like it's only me and the man upstairs. 2. Park: Though expecting for a park to be completely empty is too much to ask for, I still appreciate the opportunity it affords me to enjoy some quiet time and commune with nature. 3. Library: By now, it should be no secret that I love writing, reading, and learning. What better place to do this than the library? In...

The fact that some movies are given the green light often leaves me dumbfounded. My wife and I started watching a movie called "Aloha" last night, starring Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, John Krasinki, and Alec Baldwin. The trailer showed it to be the quintessential chick flick/rom com, and, while it isn't my favorite genre, I've come to love several romantic comedies throughout the years. I also figured my wife might like it, so we decided to give it a go. Long story short, we're about three quarters into the movie, and I don't understand what the hell is going on. The movie has virtually no plot, and there is no romantic chemistry whatsoever between Cooper and his love interest in the movie. One of the telltale signs of a bad flick is when you can't get yourself to become invested in the characters. It speaks to poor direction and character development, both of which mar this stinker tremendously. This movie also demonstrate...

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, once said that the best way to predict your future is to create it. Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady to President Franklin D. Roosevelt, stated that the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Still another great quote -- and I believe this one was dreamed up anonymously -- is that we ought to strive to do something today that our future self will thank us for. I know I sometimes have a tendency to harp on here about the past. (After all, I do love history!) And while reminiscing at times is good and healthful, we mustn't spend too much time ruminating over past events. I think doing so gets in the way of our growth -- whether personal or professional. Sometimes we might get so caught up reliving the past that we forget to live in the present. While memories of yesterday might be special, memories created tomorrow might prove even more profound. Thinking too much about the past prevents us from mo...

A study on Glamour.com found that, when looking at pictures of men, people deemed the ones with brown eyes as more dominant -- and thus more attractive. Even after the researchers doctored some of the pictures so that brown-eyed men looked like they had blue eyes, the subjects still found the ones whose eyes were a natural brown color to be the most dominant. I find the findings interesting given the fact that both sexes generally find blue eyes to be the most attractive. In high school, I had a marked preference for blondes with green or blue eyes. When I began dating my now-wife, though, who has brown hair and brown eyes, I certainly became fonder of women who share those very physical attributes. To me, eye color is just, well, eye color. A woman could look beautiful whether she has dark brown, hazel, blue, or green eyes. The same applies to hair color. I wish that women wouldn't put on color contact lenses for the purpose of giving themselves an eye color they wish they...

I received my degree in marketing and minor in psychology, so I'm probably one of the few people out there who enjoy analyzing advertisements carefully for content, message, and other variables. It's become apparent that ads for a wide array of marketers ranging from Progressive and State Farm to Geico and Aflak are making their ads decidedly obnoxious these days. Take Progressive, for example. Never has Flo -- the character portrayed by actor and comedian Stephanie Courtney, who's appeared in more than 100 commercials for the company since 2008 -- made me crack even the slightest smile. The Aflak duck was amusing in the 90s, but not anymore -- now you almost feel like throwing a rock at your television set whenever it pops up. Companies are incorporating more animals, loud noises, and silly antics to grab the consumer's attention. What many of these marketers fail to realize is that the most successful ads in recent years -- those of Budweiser and car companies l...

A recent study on the psychology of trademarks finds that people perceive brands in the same way as they do faces. Researchers compared the reactions of viewers to 16 renowned brands -- Cola-Cola and Apple among them -- and 18 computer-generated faces. The subjects were asked to evaluate the pictures according to various attributes including trustworthiness and assertiveness. Two basic dimensions dictated how a large proportion of how both trademarks and faces are perceived: (1) Overall assessment, which represents the observer's assessment of how trustworthy brands or people are and how favorable they find them to be, and (2) The impression of strength, which involves acting on the ability to correctly detect intentions -- whether they be good or bad. Most of us can identify with the results of the study. For example, after the BP oil spill that took place a few years ago, resulting in extensive damage to wildlife habitats and fishing and tourism industries, most consumers w...

Some of us live in small towns. Others reside in big cities. I live in Florida, where traffic seems to be getting worse by the day. Last year, my wife and I bought our condo in an area known for being highly congested. We knew this ahead of time, but proceeded nonetheless because we got a great deal on the condo. Life is all about tradeoffs, right? Thankfully, we catch a bit of a break when kids go on summer vacation. Over that two month span, the drive to and from work is roughly 35 minutes. During the school year, though, I have a considerably longer commute: 45-60 minutes both ways, and that's assuming there are no accidents. We've been living in the condo for over 6 months now, and already the commute is starting to wear on me. It's gotten so bad that I decided to go to a Starbucks after work today (instead of driving straight home like I normally do) to wait out the traffic. I think I would rather have a shorter drive at the expense of getting home a bit la...

Which of these do you find to be more intense: the pressure to get married or to have kids? I find it to be the latter. For one, I've observed that couples are having kids out of wedlock at an unprecedented rate, and society no longer frowns upon this like before. Decades ago, it was assumed that everyone "grew up" and joined the ranks of adulthood in a decidedly linear fashion: fall in love, get married, have kids. While some people still follow this pattern, others aren't. In fact, I know at least 10 people -- friends and relatives alike -- who had kids before tying the knot. So long as they eventually get married, society seems to give these people a free pass. That's not the case with couples who put off having kids or decide not to have any at all. Perhaps the reason for this is that people figure that while you can get married anytime you want -- even in your 90s -- women have a limited time window within which they can have kids. So once they reac...