Which of these do you find to be more intense: the pressure to get married or to have kids?
I find it to be the latter. For one, I've observed that couples are having kids out of wedlock at an unprecedented rate, and society no longer frowns upon this like before.
Decades ago, it was assumed that everyone "grew up" and joined the ranks of adulthood in a decidedly linear fashion: fall in love, get married, have kids.
While some people still follow this pattern, others aren't. In fact, I know at least 10 people -- friends and relatives alike -- who had kids before tying the knot.
So long as they eventually get married, society seems to give these people a free pass.
That's not the case with couples who put off having kids or decide not to have any at all. Perhaps the reason for this is that people figure that while you can get married anytime you want -- even in your 90s -- women have a limited time window within which they can have kids. So once they reach a certain age and still have no children to speak of, it begins to raise eyebrows.
In other words, it seems to me that unmarried couples with kids are less likely to be lambasted than child-free married ones.
The only other scenario that might find a person getting a lot of flak? People in their 30s or older who aren't even in a relationship.
Do you agree? Is the pressure to have kids stronger than the pressure to get married?
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I find it to be the latter. For one, I've observed that couples are having kids out of wedlock at an unprecedented rate, and society no longer frowns upon this like before.
Decades ago, it was assumed that everyone "grew up" and joined the ranks of adulthood in a decidedly linear fashion: fall in love, get married, have kids.
While some people still follow this pattern, others aren't. In fact, I know at least 10 people -- friends and relatives alike -- who had kids before tying the knot.
So long as they eventually get married, society seems to give these people a free pass.
That's not the case with couples who put off having kids or decide not to have any at all. Perhaps the reason for this is that people figure that while you can get married anytime you want -- even in your 90s -- women have a limited time window within which they can have kids. So once they reach a certain age and still have no children to speak of, it begins to raise eyebrows.
In other words, it seems to me that unmarried couples with kids are less likely to be lambasted than child-free married ones.
The only other scenario that might find a person getting a lot of flak? People in their 30s or older who aren't even in a relationship.
Do you agree? Is the pressure to have kids stronger than the pressure to get married?
Check out other posts by clicking here: How to Understand People
Don't miss great entries like:
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