If you've watched your fair share of romantic movies or devoured a romance novel or two, this scene may be all too familiar to you by now: The handsome male lead doing everything in his power to sweep his love interest off her feet -- writing her poems, buying her chocolates, planting a kiss at the end of the night.  And even if the pair are already in a relationship together, it's the man who tends to be portrayed as the one responsible for making his partner feel beautiful and valued.  While it's certainly true that a guy should strive to make his lady feel appreciated, it goes the other way as well. Men may not show it, but they, too, yearn to feel desired, to feel needed. They love receiving compliments, being told they're attractive, and being chased by their significant other every now and then. This, of course, extends to the bedroom. Men like for their partner to initiate and take control when least expected. But even so small a gesture as a call or text to tell...

Even amongst my closest male friends, I've noticed something of a pattern: Men generally don't like to talk about their problems. I recently wrote to a friend who uncharacteristically forgot my birthday this year. To my surprise, he told me he'd had surgery and had been in recovery for two weeks.  He didn't seem inclined to talk much about it; in fact, he didn't even disclose what kind of surgery he'd had. I'm in a similar boat with yet another male friend, who recently broke up with his fiancée of three years and has been scant on details.  This despite the fact that I, as a man, have been transparent with them about my health and relationship woes in the past.  I understand not everyone is at the same comfort level when it comes to divulging personal information, even to close friends.  But these very men have a tendency to pry into the affairs of others. They may ask questions of me that they wouldn't answer themselves if it were the other way around....

You've had a rough day.  Your tire blew out, causing you to arrive two hours late to work. To make matters worse, your boss gives you an earful when you walk through the door, after which you realize you left your credit card at the one-hour-away car shop while waiting for your vehicle to be serviced.  No sooner do you grab your phone in a huff to call the shop and see if anyone can track it down than your credit card company is calling you to verify if you made $1,250 in purchases at Saks Fifth Avenue.  We've each had some variation of the crappy day outlined above. And our only consolation is often the thought of going home to someone -- anyone -- who can cheer us up a little. Maybe it's our partner, roommate, or neighbor.  But maybe you've begun to notice a pattern of seeming indifferent to your distress. You always hope this time will be different -- that this individual will be there to listen, to say they know what you're going through. Unfortunately, though, ...

If there's something we can all agree on, it's that life can be wonderful. But it can also be unfair and unpredictable. We are always subject to unforeseen events and situations both in our personal and professional lives.  The company we envisioned working for until retirement suddenly shuts its doors.  Our spouse of 20 years files for divorce, claiming he or she no longer feels that "spark." This is precisely why I encourage people to remain nimble, to always expect the unexpected.  Though it's impossible to detach ourselves emotionally from the things and people we value, we need to approach them logically as well and accept that they may cease to be in our lives someday.  So how do we ensure we're not completely blindsided by unforeseen occurrences? For one, the mere act of visualizing yourself without that person or partner can help soften the blow.  And as the title of this post suggests, you needn't put all your eggs in one basket.  If you're si...

In a prior post, I discussed how anxiety may drive people to clean their homes, organize their offices, or wash their cars. Cleaning isn't atop most people's lists of things they enjoy doing -- hence the reason so many with the means hire people to do it for them. I like keeping my condo clean, which is why I try to tidy up at least once a week.  But every now and then, I break out the vacuum cleaner not because the place is a mess, but because I am -- and cleaning helps me unwind.  Perhaps I've had a tough day at work, or my wife and I have just had a terrible argument.  In lieu of taking my frustration out on a punching bag, stress ball, pillow, or some other object, I derive satisfaction from sucking up dust or removing stains. Filthy grime be gone! Perhaps I see them as embodying the negative emotions I'm wrestling -- anger, frustration, disillusionment -- and picture myself quashing such feelings with the aid of a handy broom or duster.  Once I'm done cleaning,...

Has COVID brought the dating market to its knees?  Not quite, although, as one would suspect, people are trying to balance staying healthy and safe with keeping their love lives from going full-on rusty. But there's no question that, with many businesses ground to a halt and crowd-attracting events nixed indefinitely, it limits opportunities to meet and connect with people.  Social distancing and reduced capacity limits in restaurants, movie theaters, and other venues where you might ordinarily strike up a conversation with someone doesn't exactly lend itself to romance.  Thankfully, with the rollout of vaccines, we may finally be turning the corner, as deaths and cases have been dropping sharply in recent weeks.  Just because we are still in the middle of a pandemic doesn't mean you can't go on dates, but you should insist that whoever you meet get tested, as he or she may ask you as well. It isn't as if meeting in a quiet restaurant, mall, or park is all bad. Thin...

How many times have you encountered someone who's tried to push their beliefs on you, making you feel as though they'll cast you out should you dissent? I am here to tell you one thing: You need no one's validation but your own!  Really, who says others are cool and you're not? Who determines that your way is wrong and there's isn't? Why should you have to defer to others on matters of style? If society frowns upon some of your lifestyle choices simply because they're not in step with what everyone else does -- say, your decision to abstain from drinking or your reluctance to attend late-night parties -- so be it.  Be yourself! There is nothing wrong with being your most unique, individual self. As long as you love and are being true to yourself -- and you're not hurting anyone in the process -- why should your methods be deemed incorrect? If people feel so insecure as to consider no one else's perspective but their own, that's their problem. Whe...

Has anyone ever told you you're the only one for them -- that they vow to be faithful to you for the rest of your lives -- only to turn around and cheat on you? Few things could be as devastating.  Imagine that: Someone who you envisioned spending the rest of your life with shattering your trust so egregiously. The fact of the matter is that they were never being sincere about how they felt. Because when someone truly loves you, they wouldn't dare jeopardize the bond you share -- let alone by cheating. And none of these count as justifiable: Drinking too much Being stressed at work Being seduced  Feeling unhappy in the relationship  You don't go around canoodling with other men or women when something is awry in the relationship or, more generally, in your life. You make your partner aware of it so they can help you. You communicate. You discuss your options.  If you see the relationship as no longer bringing you fulfillment, you either agree to seek counseling with ...

Who ever thought that this, of all things, would be so integral to a more fulfilling life? I speak of gratitude -- making the most of what one has rather than yearning for the best and most of everything.  And gratitude boils down to perspective, one's way of seeing the world.  Some people see an old plate and others see the very thing that holds the nutritious food they're blessed to have. Some people see a rickety car and someone else sees the very thing that keeps them from having to take to the bus or walk long distances, sometimes into sketchy neighborhoods. Some people see a cramped apartment they can't wait to flee from while others see a roof over their heads -- a home where they can spend time and create memories with family. Here are just a few of the ways society prevents us from experiencing true happiness: By telling us to buy the next best and biggest thing, even if we're happy with the one we have -- whether it's a phone, car, or house  By persuading...