What to do when someone emotionally abandons you

You've had a rough day. 

Your tire blew out, causing you to arrive two hours late to work. To make matters worse, your boss gives you an earful when you walk through the door, after which you realize you left your credit card at the one-hour-away car shop while waiting for your vehicle to be serviced. 

No sooner do you grab your phone in a huff to call the shop and see if anyone can track it down than your credit card company is calling you to verify if you made $1,250 in purchases at Saks Fifth Avenue. 

We've each had some variation of the crappy day outlined above. And our only consolation is often the thought of going home to someone -- anyone -- who can cheer us up a little. Maybe it's our partner, roommate, or neighbor. 

But maybe you've begun to notice a pattern of seeming indifferent to your distress. You always hope this time will be different -- that this individual will be there to listen, to say they know what you're going through. Unfortunately, though, that doesn't end up being the case.

Perhaps this person you've regularly turned to for support in the past has other priorities to attend to now -- kids, a more demanding job, an ailing parent. 

While these are all valid reasons for being slow to respond to you, it's when days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months without so much as a text that the pain can bear heavily on us.

And the feeling becomes even more acute when you discover via Facebook that, in truth, they've been hanging out with other people in the time you've been trying to connect with them.

You feel betrayed, left out, emotionally abandoned -- not just because you're attached to them, but because, until now, you thought those emotions were mutual.

This illustrates why it pays to:

• Expand your circle. I am not suggesting you should look to befriend 30 new people, but having 3-5 confidantes can greatly mitigate the sting of having one of them leave you hanging. 

• Lean on no one to play fixer. Providing emotional support is one thing. Relying on a person to solve your problems or provide happiness is another entirely. If you set your expectations of someone too high, you're bound to be let down.

• Turn to hobbies and interests. While no substitute for a good pep talk, hobbies -- if nothing else -- keep your mind occupied. Whether you enjoy playing with your dog, hitting the basketball court, or slapping your bass guitar, doing the things you love beats sulking in bed scarfing down junk food. 

We all have people whom we regard as pillars of strength. When those people don't come through for us in times of need, it can feel like a huge blow. 

But it isn't the end of the world. You'll bounce back from this! 

Maybe someone else in your orbit whom you never thought would stand by you does just that, causing your bond to flourish.

Or perhaps you haven't yet met the special soul with whom you're meant to forge a deep, lasting, emotional connection. 

Regardless, remember that for all the emotional succor supplied by others, happiness is an inside job. We'll only find it by looking deep within ourselves.