People who think they're right all the time and above others are a drain on our time and energy. There's something to be said for humility, which the dictionary defines as "freedom from pride or arrogance." In a world of people jockeying for power and prestige, those who own up to their mistakes and admit that they don't have all the answers are a breath of fresh air. Those who apologize, even when it kills them to do so, command others' respect. Indeed, individuals who try to project perfection are clearly showing they are anything but perfect, because all human beings are fallible. It just makes it that much worse when a person is in full denial about it. We may come across people like this in a variety of places. Maybe it's the know-it-all at work, the cocky weight trainer at the gym, or that immature cousin of ours who never acknowledges fault. Unless one is willing to get off his or her high horse and swallow that pride, they will continua...

Have you ever stopped and considered how illogical attraction can be? Let me give you an example by taking you down memory lane. Remember back when you were in elementary, middle, or high school and there always seemed to be one particular guy or girl whom everyone seemed to like? Don't get me wrong: It makes sense why they would have many admirers. They tended to be good looking and popular (probably on the cheerleading squad or football team) and had tons of friends. Chances are they became prom king/queen. Maybe even you jumped on the bandwagon and counted yourself among the lovestruck. What I've always wondered is: Did all of those kids really like the student in question, or did they just express interest them because everyone else did? I can honestly say that I "fell" for the girl all the guys liked, and it was in middle school. Once the dust had settled, I realized that I didn't have feelings for the girl after all. I had just fallen for a...

Never let anyone else decide what makes you happy. That's a unilateral decision only YOU can make! They may assume that just because they think a certain way about something -- either because they were brought up that way or developed firm convictions over time -- you will (or should) feel the same way. You have the power to be as happy as you decide to be. Why? Because happiness is an inside job. It doesn't come from our jobs, our relationships, our partner, or our hobbies. While those aspects can certainly enhance our lives, we can have them and still feel miserable. (Example: Filthy rich celebrities who struggle with depression.) As long as what makes you happy isn't damaging to yourself or those around you, indulge in your hobbies and passions as you please. If others insist you'll be happier in a different career, in a different relationship, or in a different city, you be the judge of that. Where do people get off assuming they know you better ...

We've all heard the axiom, "True beauty comes from within." And I agree wholeheartedly, which is why I've used it in several of my posts. But, in my view, those who say looks don't matter at all are flat-out kidding themselves. Yes, looks should never be the thrust of any relationship. The glue that holds two people together is a deep, emotional connection. But the fact of the matter is that, for better or worse, the first thing our eyes go to is one's physical appearance. Allow me to pose a few pointed questions: Would you want to date someone who weighs 700 pounds? Would you hire the job candidate who shows up to the job interview unshaven and in bedraggled clothing? Would you set your daughter up with a kid sporting a shirt that says, "I'm your next one night stand"? If you answered "no" to any of the above, you care about looks and first impressions to a certain degree. The truth is that we all do, even if some of u...

From our choice of partner to the job through which we earn a living, life entails making a slew of decisions -- many of them carrying tremendous weight -- in a world of seemingly endless possibilities. While, in retrospect, we wish we would have done certain certain things differently, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and use them as stepping stones for growth. Here are two valuable tips for making better decisions. 1. Consider the pros and cons. Whether you're buying a car or considering breaking up with your girlfriend of two years, weigh the positives and negatives carefully. I'm not talking about, say, deciding what you'll have for dinner tonight. I speak of those choices that can have life-altering implications. For example, you might be getting much more bells and whistles with a Nissan Maxima rather than a Honda Civic, but it'll come at a heftier price -- one that can put a major dent in your savings. And maybe you've been wondering lat...

Have you ever stayed in a relationship a lot longer than you should have? While hindsight is always instructive, many people would admit that they began seeing the red flags early on, but decided to turn a blind eye. But why would people do this? As I've noted in prior entries, people could do it for a variety of reasons, including: The fear of being alone They have a long history with the person There are kids in the picture Financial dependency A low self-esteem Fear of change/a reluctance to start anew  Beyond that , they think their partner has the potential to be a better person. This brings me to two mistakes I've touched upon in earlier posts that people with their heart in the right place tend to make: 1. They set their expectations of the other person too high. 2. They set out to help "change" or "save" them. The higher you set your expectations of other people, the greater the chances of being disappointed.  As ...

Many people wish they had better things to say about their love life. Unfortunately, it's been marred by everything from cheating exes to dates who misrepresented themselves online. You would think that they've simply been unlucky -- that is, until these telling words come out of their mouths: "I've just had just a hard time finding the perfect person." See, therein lies the problem. It's not really about being plagued by misfortune. It's the fact that the person is after something that doesn't exist in relationships: perfection. If a person intends to wait until they find that "perfect" man or woman, then they'll be waiting until they die. That means they're willing to subject themselves to a life of unmet expectations and disappointments -- all in the vain hope that a flawless partner will eventually surface. In a real relationship, two imperfect people accept one another for who they are -- aggravating flaws and o...

In order to ensure a long-lasting relationship, it's imperative that both people let their true selves come out from day one. Imagine your partner falling in love with a phony version of yourself you've been projecting just to impress them, whether it be a filthy rich playboy or bookish intellectual. Now picture yourself being head over heels for someone who's been dishonest about their personality, life goals, and hobbies. This seemingly wonderful person whom you thought you knew so well is more like a stranger. Wouldn't you want them drawn to the most authentic version of you? Otherwise, the other person will be with you for who they think you are, which could be an entirely different person. One's true colors come out sooner or later. Putting on a facade might help you in the short-term (e.g., you appear more confident or spontaneous), but eventually the real you will be thrown into sharp relief, and the other person may not be keen on sticking around -...

We've all been there: We tell someone we're drawn to them romantically, but it turns out they don't feel the same way. If someone isn't interested in a relationship with you, it can be pretty upsetting, especially if you've imagined hooking up with them for quite some time. Once you know the feelings aren't mutual, what should you do? Below are a couple of suggestions for dealing with rejection. (Note that many of these tips also work in the event that someone breaks up with you.) 1. Don't beg for another chance. If they've told or shown you they're not interested -- whether it's because they are taken, wish to remain single, or see you only as a friend, the worst thing you can do is press the issue further. This can be viewed as stalking or harassment, and the last thing you want is to ruffle the feathers of his or her partner, family or friends -- let alone get in trouble with the law. 2. Don't mope around at home or elsewhere...