Here's how you know a relationship is dying

Depriving a relationship of openness and communication is like depriving a plant of water and sunlight; sooner or later, it'll shrivel and die.

Many couples have experienced this firsthand.

Rather than putting it all on the table (albeit in a civil, non-confrontational way), they either keep their feelings bottled up or resort to more damaging measures, like hurling insults, ghosting, or even cheating on one another.

You know for sure that something has gone awry when coming together to discuss your feelings and concerns actually widens the divide between the two of you, leading to more bickering and finger-pointing.

You each walk away feeling deeper resentment rather than calm reassurance that things are on the mend.

Rather than respecting your partner in spite of their imperfections, things that never bothered you before drive you batty.

Moreover, you look for reasons not to be around one another, essentially rendering you both strangers (if not enemies).

Frank conversations are supposed to ameliorate -- not exacerbate -- the problems you face together in the relationship.

They open one another's eyes to (1) emotions they didn't know the other was experiencing (2) certain behaviors they may not have noticed in themselves (3) deeds and efforts that may have gone unappreciated.

Surely, that doesn't mean the pair can't right the ship.

Perhaps they can look into relationship counseling, or at least have a trusted friend or relative intervene. When relations are this fraught, sometimes others are better able to get through to them.

If the couple has exhausted all possibilities, it may be time to shut the door on this troublesome relationship, which is likely beyond saving. At least they can take solace in knowing they tried.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated. In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel. If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor. In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better. If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps. But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying. If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...

Search This Blog