You know you're with the wrong person if...

You know you're with the wrong person if you find yourself behaving in ways that don't come naturally to you just so you can appease your partner.

In other words, you fundamentally change aspects of your personality and character just to secure the person's approval, which you're sure will translate into relationship bliss.

As I've suggested in earlier posts, there's always room for some flexibility and compromise, but you should not feel like a radically different person when you're with your significant other.

Perhaps you're not into spicy food, football, or museum hopping like your partner is, but you make the effort to partake in such activities because he or she enjoys them. At the same time, you might expect them to participate when it comes to your leisurely pursuits, whether fishing, painting, or watching National Geographic.

But let's say you're a quiet, introverted person by nature, and gradually you come to the realization that your girlfriend is the exact opposite: loud and obnoxious, with no filter.

She then tries to wheedle you into accompanying her to nightclubs and road trips with large groups of people so you can slowly adopt her lifestyle and become more like her.

Do you really think you'll be happy knowing that you're turning your back on your own principles?

Needless to say, if you have to go to such lengths to make a relationship work, it just is not meant to be.

When you're with the right person, you shouldn't feel forced to adapt your personality to complement that of your partner.

As you get to know him or her, you should get a sense whether the two of you have enough in common -- from your temperaments and hobbies to political views and plans for the future -- to form a long-lasting relationship.

That isn't to say that the two of you can't seem like exact opposites in the beginning and gradually build strong chemistry, leading to a wonderful (if unlikely) pairing. But such cases are the exception rather than the rule.

If you have to overexert yourself to be someone you know you're not, you're better off waiting for someone who will appreciate the real you. (Imagine meeting someone new who you know you truly click with, but you're stuck in a relationship with a person who isn't right for you.)

Whether your partner is gorgeous, well-connected, or rich, nothing can justify being involved with a person who demands an overhaul of your personality.

If you're happy with who you are, wait for the person who will covet you at your most authentic.

Don't change just to placate another person -- let alone one who refuses to change anything about themselves for you. And if you realize later that you're just too different, end the relationship rather than carry on the illusion that you're going to change who you are for them.

Life's too short to surround ourselves with the wrong people.

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

Search This Blog