Skip to main content

Relationships fail without THIS

Let's say you and your partner are trying to decide where to eat tonight. You've been craving Chinese for a while and suggest hitting up the Asian restaurant that just opened down the block. Your girlfriend, however, insists on trying out a hole-in-the-wall Italian place downtown that all of your friends have been raving about. What do you do?

As another example, let's assume you invite your friend over for drinks. You turn on the TV to watch the season finale of one of your favorite shows. Your friend, however, begs that you tune into Game 7 of the World Series, which she's been looking forward to watching all day. What do you do?

Along with trust, respect, loyalty, and communication, compromise is the glue that holds a relationship together. 

If two people genuinely desire for the relationship to remain strong, they each have to be willing to yield to the other's wishes every so often. They can't have it their way all the time, which smacks of selfishness and inflexibility. 

In the first example, the pair can opt to get Mediterranean food and dine at the restaurants they originally had in mind on future occasions -- say, one on Valentine's Day 
and the other on their anniversary.

In the second example, the person inviting the friend over can allow warm hospitality to win the day by recording the show to watch at a later date and putting the game on for her friend to enjoy. Whenever it is that they go to the other person's house, however, the one doing the inviting should similarly accede to her friend's wishes. 

If you don't believe in the practice of give and take, you're going to struggle to keep your relationships afloat. Sure, every so often both parties should expect to hear a "no." But if one person always says "yay" and the other's answer to everything is "nay," that relationship is in serious jeopardy. 

No one likes having to deal with an obstinate friend or partner who has to get their way all the time. All it does is make the relationship seem entirely one-sided, which can become quite tiresome after a while. 

Relationships should be built on fairness and reciprocity. Neither person should be out to get the upper hand. Neither person should take advantage of the other. Compromise is critical to making each person feel as though their feelings are valued and their needs are being considered in earnest. 

Sadly, a relationship where compromise is nowhere to be found will ultimately go off the rails. Those who refuse to compromise on anything demonstrate that they're only out for themselves and are not prepared to form intimate relationships. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...