Skip to main content

Why you should never change for other people

Do you embrace your uniqueness? Do you like the fact that you have quirks, talents, and convictions that set you apart from your peers? Do you take pride in the fact that there can never be another you?

If so, the last thing you should allow is for other people to change you. I mean, really...who are they to dictate how you should think and act? Are you not a grown adult capable of making your own decisions?

As I've stressed in several other posts, people will try to goad you into changing for a variety of reasons:
  • There's something about you that's a little different, and that makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure.
  • They subscribe to the herd mentality, believing everyone in their immediate circle should share exactly the same beliefs, habits, goals, etc.
  • They secretly envy you: Rather than celebrate your good qualities, they'd rather see you lose them; instead of cheering your successes, they take delight in your failures. 
Indeed, certain people wear an awful lot of masks. They may come off as having good intentions, but deep down they're only looking for a way to make themselves feel better. If they succeed at changing you in some way, it validates their way of looking at the world -- the decisions and experiences they've confronted in their own life. 

If you change just for the sake of fitting in and appeasing certain people, you inhibit yourself from attracting those who would genuinely value the real you. Essentially, you're living the type of life someone else wants you to have rather than the one you want for yourself.

Thankfully, there are people who will like you just the way you are, never putting any kind of pressure on you to change a single thing about yourself. These are precisely the ones you should gravitate to.

Some people will say you're too sentimental, too nerdy, too hard-working, too loose, too conservative, too contemplative, too much of a homebody, too much of a party animal, and the list goes on. But, again, who are they to pass judgment?  How others perceive us may not necessarily be the way we really are, and only we know that.

If you're happy just the way you are, you're not "too" anything. You're perfect. You're content. You're you.

Embrace your individuality wholeheartedly, and never change for anyone but yourself!

Comments

kfbphoto@gmail.com said…
In a close loving equal relationship all people change, adapt and blend. It does not mean one has to be changed or change. It means blend and become a couple and please each other. I have a very unusual personality ( INFJ ) and high IQ, but see no reason not to blend for a lovely partner.

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...