Does looking for love work?

It does, but only to a certain degree.

Surely, one must put themselves out there in order to be noticed. A partner won't magically fall in your lap, and being holed up in your room all day greatly diminishes your prospects.

But you don't want to overdo it either. A girl I used to work with treated virtually every guy she met in the workplace as a possible love interest. Vetting every man or woman you come across does come off as desperate.

That's why, in the world of dating, it's better to work smarter, not harder.

Go to places where people with whom you share a certain hobby are likely to be. If you want to date a bookworm, head to the library. If dancing is your thing, you might want to sign up for salsa lessons. If a partner with a great physique is atop your list, you ought to be spending time at the gym.

You get the idea. You want to frequent places where you're bound to find people whose interests mirror or at least complement yours. In other words, you have to look for love in all the right places.

And that place could very well be the internet. On eHarmony, you can begin receiving matches within minutes of completing a Relationship Questionnaire. And who's to say you can't meet someone through a friend of a friend on Facebook?

Then again, many people report meeting their special someone when least expected; they say it happened while they were simply busy living life and not deliberately looking for anyone.

You just never really know how and when the right person will present themselves. But one thing's for certain: You should never give up on love. There's someone for everyone in this crazy world. You just have to keep your options open.

And, yes, you should put yourself out there every once in a while, but don't force it! If you are finding that you don't click with someone, or that he or she doesn't seem as interested in you as you are in them, don't waste your valuable time: just move on.

And don't get into a relationship until both of you are ready to get into one. If you're not on the same page from the beginning, things can and will deteriorate very quickly.

Again, it's all about working smarter, not harder. Zero in on places where you'd find a Mr. or Mrs. Right and go there.

Don't lose hope! The person for you may pop up at any moment!

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog