What makes us powerful is not that we're better than anyone else, for everyone has flaws. It's that we're different from them. Sure, "different" can carry a negative connotation if it means the person is, say, a drug addict, woman beater, or compulsive gambler. In this context, however, different means unique. Maybe you know no one who can whip up a mean apple pie like you can. Perhaps people lean on you for all things spelling and grammar because they regard you as the ultimate wordsmith. Or, you're an expert a fixing cars, playing the violin, chess, or scubadiving. We all bring a different set of talents to the table -- ones we should not only embrace, but continually aim to strengthen. Having unique skills shouldn't be perceived as an excuse to show off or pretend one is above others. Instead, it affords us the opportunity to: 1. Demonstrate to others the kinds of things we love (which may not align with their interests, and that...

The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving other people power to control your smile, your attitude, and your worth. Never hand the keys to your happiness to someone else. Live life on your terms, doing what you love, and seeking out challenges and experiences that enrich your soul. No one knows your dreams, goals, and fears better than you do. No other person is there for you like you are -- 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No one has gone through the very ordeals you've confronted. To give others control over your emotions is to sign away your right to be happy. It puts you at the mercy of others who may not always have your best interests at heart -- people who might leave your life at any given moment. Sharing your happiness with the people you love is one thing. Depending on them to be happy is another. When you place your happiness in the hands of others, you expect them to think and act as you would. You anticipate that they will always be there...

Don't allow anyone -- not your friends, not your relatives, not your partner, and not your co-workers -- to put you down for mistakes you've made in the past. Many people have a nasty habit of, in the heat of an argument, or as a result of having a bad day, bringing back to light past mistakes that you've apologized for, learned from, and pledged not to repeat. They likely see it as ammunition they carry in their back pocket in the event they really want to make you feel like crap. They tell themselves that you should be appreciative of the fact they forgave you, even though, in their view, you didn't deserve it. It's as if you "owe" them. If they really forgave you, they should not indulge themselves by giving you guilt trips whenever the mood strikes, even if you've done something more recently to ruffle their feathers. Focusing their ire on the matter at hand is one thing; rehashing things you've put behind you is another entirely. I...

Never allow negative people -- the naysayers, the Debbie Downers, the half-glass-empty crowd -- turn you into   them. We all have bad days, but that's no reason to want our bad vibes to rub off on those who seem happy and content. Misery may yearn for company, but we shouldn't feel compelled to be that company. If people find themselves in the whole, they need to work through their problems on their own. Instead of aiming their frustration at other people, they should turn to them for support. They should see them as a source of comfort rather than as an annoyance. In the end, the people whom these negative folks wish were just as unhappy as they are would probably do anything to turn their frown upside down. Needless to say, they'd be directing their ire at someone who, chances are, would be disposed to lend a hand in any way possible. But as we well know, people who are in a crappy mood don't always think rationally. They focus only on themselves, and ...

Does anyone treat you like you're below them -- whether it's because they have a higher position, nicer car, or bigger house? Kick them to the curb. If a person is so shallow as to put physical objects before the things that really count -- friendship, love, respect, humility -- give them the boot. No one is above anyone else. A janitor is just as deserving of others' respect and kindness as a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. One's possessions say nothing of their character. While I'm not trying to begrudge them their success -- especially if they worked their butts off to get what they have -- it should never make people feel entitled. Who's to say that the garbage man or waitress hasn't gone through tremendous hardship in life preventing him or her from going to school and rising above their station? And who's to say they can't eventually reach that point if they truly commit themselves? Yet, not everyone yearns to be rich. They ma...

As I've noted in prior posts, many people are regarded as shy, antisocial, or even weird just because they enjoy their own company. It doesn't matter that they make a genuine effort to interact with others. Because they're not constantly loud and seeking the spotlight -- and we see this happen all the time in the workplace -- they're labeled as awkward, secretive, and even stuck-up. And thanks to the press propagating the notion that all dangerous and mentally unstable people are loners, it has made the public fearful of anyone who comes across as reticent. What many people don't understand is that not everyone feels every thought that pops into their mind should be verbalized. Some of us simply like to observe and think through what we're going to say before opening our mouths. Introverts draw energy inward. After interacting with people for a good chunk of the day, they seek alone time in order to recharge their batteries. Such time allows them to ...

When giving someone your all isn't sufficient in the relationship, you're with the wrong person. Whether your efforts fall short in their view because he or she is that hard to please (e.g., she doesn't feel you buy her enough stuff) or he fails to recognize your varied contributions (e.g., chores, emotional support, and so on), being with such an individual can be draining, if not demoralizing. What's frustrating is that the person may never come to appreciate all the time, energy, sweat, and tears we've invested into the relationship. When you arrive at this juncture, one really has to ask whether trying to salvage the relationship is even worth it anymore. Broaching the subject may or may not help. He or she may take offense to your claims and insist that they do value your efforts, even if their actions contradict their words. And even if it does help initially, the person may revert to their old habits once they sense all is fine and dandy again. ...

Is there anything you really want to do in your life, but find yourself paralyzed by the fear of failure? Maybe you want to leave your comfortable job for a more challenging post with another company, but you're worried it won't work out. Perhaps you wish to propose to your girlfriend, but you can't quash a nagging fear that she will say no. What do such hypothetical scenarios have in common? That in each case, we tend to think the very worst. No sooner do we set a goal than we imagine ourselves being unsuccessful. Sure, falling short is a real possibility for every one of us. But are we really going to let the prospect of failure keep us from even trying? Never be afraid of taking a risk , so long as you feel that: 1. Provided that you invest the time and effort, you have a real shot at succeeding. 2. If you do succeed, you're certain the benefits will outweigh the costs of taking the plunge. Of course, if you don't plan to work your butt of...

According to research conducted at Georgetown University, social media tends to leave people lonelier and more depressed. You're probably thinking it all sounds, well, counterintuitive. After all, we all enjoy receiving likes and compliments on sites like Facebook, so it would seem like social media should improve one's mood and bolster self-esteem. Likes and comments do in fact promote small rushes of dopamine. But the study revealed that these tiny boosts don't come anywhere close to compensating for the large loss experienced by no longer spending real-world time with the person in question. The researchers note that smartphones have a way of cultivating behavioral addictions. People may not necessarily wish to spend so much time online, but between flashy games, humorous memes, and content posted by our buddies, we become inextricably sucked in -- often resulting in physical, mental, and spiritual exhaustion. Those who embrace what researchers have dubbe...