Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804), the first treasury secretary of the United States and the subject of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, once said: "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." Hamilton sure hit the nail on the head with that one. I understand that not everyone is naturally bold and assertive. Many of us -- particularly the ones who call ourselves introverts -- hate drawing any attention to ourselves. It isn't a matter of changing your personality, for as I've stressed in other posts, you should never change your personality just to appease other people. It's about standing up for yourself when people level criticisms at you that are unfair or blatantly false. It's about defending yourself against insults to your character. It's about not letting someone get away with trying to sully your reputation. But Hamilton's quote goes beyond merely standing up for oneself. Maybe there's a cause you're deeply passionate a...

There are two kinds of people who give excuses when it comes to establishing or maintaining contact with you: (1) Those who give excuses for why they can't call, text, or visit you, and (2) Those who come up with excuses to call, text, or visit you. Notice the difference? While the former can sometimes serve up valid reasons (e.g., have to take care of kid, have to do work at home, etc.), if the weeks continue to go by and the person doesn't bother to answer your texts or return your calls, face it -- they just don't care enough about the relationship. The latter group shows the exact opposite. Come hell or high water, they find a way to squeeze some time into their schedule for the two of you to catch up because they value you and do not want the relationship to falter. A little distance is commonplace even in the healthiest relationships. We all lead different lives with disparate schedules and changing priorities. But that doesn't mean a brief phone call ...

Ugh... fake people . We all have a couple of them in our midst -- perhaps at work, in school, or via Facebook. They wear different masks depending on the situation and context. They change  their attitudes, opinions, and stories whenever they know it will benefit them. They'll do and say just about anything to look good in front of others. And they can't be trusted . The moment you tell them something in confidence, they turn around and spill the beans. They'll step on your toes just to get ahead. They'll pretend to be your friends, then throw you under the bus when you're not around. They're backstabbing opportunists . They'll post a barrage of Facebook updates in which they gloat about their vacations, meals, cars, and jewelry. They pretend to have the perfect life in an attempt to make others jealous. Little do these fake people know that there are some highly perceptive individuals out there who can see right through their little charad...

When it comes to romance, we all have different taste. And that's definitely a good thing, because otherwise we'd be chasing after the same people! Some of us are attracted to tall people. Some of us like quiet and bookish. Still others are drawn to gregarious athletic types. There is, however, a certain type of individual you should never fall in love with, and that is the kind who doesn't seem to know what they want in a partner. You never know where you stand with these people. No sooner do they give you the impression that they're interested in finally settling down with you than they back away. They're afraid of commitment -- plain and simple. They appear to always keep an eye out for "something better" that may come along. Just when you think you're becoming a priority in their life, you realize you're still an option. Unfortunately, some of us can't help but fall for people who turn out to be this way. In the beginning, they ...

Worry about your character , not your reputation . Your character is who you are . Your reputation is who people think you are . Stop for a moment and ask yourself this: Do you care more about what you think of yourself, or what people think of you? I sincerely hope it isn't the latter.  For one, no one has ever stepped or walked in your shoes but you. So, really, who are they to judge?  People can perceive you as being a certain way -- whether shy, obnoxious, self-centered, lazy, or dull. But perception, as you well know, isn't always reality. Our individual experiences shape us into the people we are, and people will never know the full extent of those experiences because they weren't there. And even if they were, they didn't live through them exactly as you did.  Why care about what someone thinks about you if they may turn your back on you or leave your life at any moment? Sure, there are people in our lives who mean a great deal to us ...

When life has you feeling down on yourself -- whether it's because you're stressed at work or beset by problems in your marriage -- letting go is usually the first step toward getting things back on track. Here are some ways you can let go and infuse your life with positivity: Let go of what you thought should happen and live in what's happening. Let go of your grudges, for they will only cause the resentment and bitterness in you to fester. Let go of your notions of how people should think or behave in a given situation, for the higher you set your expectations of others, the more likely it is they'll fail to meet them. Let go of feelings of envy or jealousy you may feel toward those whom you perceive as more accomplished. Rather than compare yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were six months ago or a year ago -- for that is a far better benchmark for measuring progress. Let go of the past. It's behind you now. All you can do is ta...

Sometimes it's hard to accept the fact that certain people whom we were once very close to know nothing about our lives anymore. I've noted the reasons why people can drift apart in other posts. Some of those include: A major life change (marriage, kids, etc.) Someone moves far away A job change that places major demands on the person  One person begins to hang out with a different crowd When both people experience such lifestyle changes simultaneously (e.g., both graduate from college at the same time), the changes don't feel nearly as drastic, and the adjustment process can is almost seemless. But when only one person changes course, the other is often left with a major void in his or her life. This happened to me a few years ago. My closest friend -- the best man at my wedding, in fact -- moved to a city 5 hours away from me. Though we see each other occasionally, our friendship hasn't been the same since. If I'm lucky, I'm able to get ...

Some of my readers have asked me how they can gauge whether their relationship is built to last. Those who are currently single have similarly wondered what the keys to a fruitful relationship are. To both camps I respond as follows: While there is no such thing as the perfect relationship, you know yours has the potential to last a lifetime if the two of you connect on four fundamental levels: (1) physically (2) emotionally (3) mentally and (4) spiritually . Below I touch upon what each connection entails. Physical connection:  While looks are certainly not the most important facet of a romantic relationship, they still count to a certain degree. You don't need a partner who looks like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie to appreciate their beautiful eyes, nice legs, smooth skin, or wonderful smile. In other words, while the person may not be a "10" on the attractiveness scale, they still have physical assets that you, as their partner, can admire. But we needn't plac...

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition. As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end. Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to. You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find th...