I've gone to more job interviews than I can count with my hands and toes. Over the years, I've observed signals conveying that the interviewer isn't sufficiently interested in me as a candidate, whether it's because they've already chosen an internal candidate for the job, feel I'm asking for too much money, or think I lack job experience. Such signs may include wrapping up the interview quickly. For example, I was once invited to an interview for a job with my alma mater. It lasted a whopping five minutes, leading me to assume that job had someone else's name on it and they were just going through the motions to conform to hiring regulations. It's also not a good sign when I'm not asked any questions, when the interviewer arrives late/doesn't seem prepared for the interview, or when they're blatantly rude or disrespectful. Employers who are genuinely interested in you don't stoop to this level; they care about the impression th...

Whatever you do, don't harp on the past . Reminiscing is good, but only up to a point. If you find yourself stuck in the past rather than focusing on present and future goals, you're only inhibiting your growth.  Sure, we all have moments where we reflect on happier times in our life and say, "I almost miss those days." But we are prone to such thinking when faced with challenges in the present that drag us down. But why not tweak your thinking and reason that once you surmount those challenges, you'll be even happier -- and feel more accomplished -- than you did in the past? Then there are those of us who ruminate on bad experiences in the past -- a close friend inexplicably stabbing us in the back, a significant other we envisioned ourselves being with our whole lives suddenly proclaiming their need for space and effectively ending the relationship, an outstanding job opportunity that slipped through our fingers. But brooding over the past i...

How many letters do you handwrite and mail in a year? If you're like most people, the answer is probably zero. Email, texting, and social media have essentially rendered the practice of writing letters by hand obsolete. Despite their being old school, a person might still write one when they want to add a personal touch that doesn't carry over digitally  -- say, a child writing to his pen pal, a foreign exchange student reaching out to family from the other side of the world, or a hopeless romantic who wishes to spill his guts via pen and paper. Can you guess how many letters Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States, wrote in his lifetime? Mind you, there was no Yahoo, Facebook, or Twitter in the 1700s and 1800s. Even the telephone wasn't invented until 1876, and Jefferson died in 1826. That means people in Jefferson's time had to make do with communicating through correspondence. And, evidently, Jefferson was nothing short of a pro. He...

Have you ever heard or used the word apocryphal before? When I first stumbled upon the word in a book I was reading, I thought the word had a dark, brooding feel to it. Perhaps it's because you can almost spell "crypt" in the word. In reality, it means something -- whether a story, account, or statement -- that is of doubtful authenticity, although widely circulated as being true. Synonyms for apocryphal include fictitious, untrue, spurious, unsubstantiated, bogus, and false. I'm sure we can all point to one specific thing in school or the workplace that can often be described as apocryphal: rumors and gossip. Many of the statements made by candidates during the presidential election last year could also be classified as such, which is why fact checking has become all the rage in politics. All of us have friends, relatives or coworkers who relate stories that at times seem, well, exaggerated. And, yet, even though their authenticity may seem questionable...

When someone shows you their true colors, never try to paint a different picture. Many of us like giving others the benefit of the doubt. We see the glass as half full. We're optimists by nature rather than cynics. We like to see the best in people even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Unfortunately, having such a romantic view of human nature doesn't always pay off. Looking at someone through rose-colored glasses even when they've shown themselves to be unreliable, dishonest, manipulative, or opportunistic, can come back to bite us in a bad way. We've all been in situations where people -- friends, relatives, significant others -- have wronged us. We accept what we construe as their heartfelt apology and forgive them, steadfast in our belief that they won't do it again. Then, they do it again. And again. And again. I can't help but repeat that trite expression you've likely heard a million times by now: "Fool me once -- shame o...

We argue with our significant other. It's a fact of life.  However, we can only hope that our bond will emerge stronger following the tiff -- with both partners poised to take each other's concerns into account and work toward allaying them -- than before. Here's the issue: There's constructive fighting -- where both voice their grievances in a tactful, non-accusatory way, and then there's vicious fighting , an all-out brawl where both individuals stop at nothing to say the nastiest things to one another.  Needless to say, you definitely want to steer clear of the latter if you want to avoid derailing the relationship. It will only cause the fighting to escalate, widening the ever-yawning rift between you and your partner and making you resentful of one another.  One thing many of us do which is a big no-no is the following: Instead of beginning with, "I feel hurt" or "I think you're being unfair," we frame our arguments in ...

That's what I always tell myself when I'm angry over something that really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Isn't it funny how many of the things we complain about are ones that we might not even remember in a year's -- or even a week's-- time? We sweat the small stuff. We make mountains out of molehills, all while other people out there have it far worse. Whenever you feel tempted to sound off about something that's bothering you, stop and ask yourself whether getting all bent out of shape is really beneficial. That's not to say you shouldn't stand up for yourself, or that you should keep silent when someone is doing something that isn't on the up and up. However, we often say and do things that we later come to regret because we let our emotions get the best of us. We feel so compelled to win an argument or get our way that all rational thinking goes out the window. When I find myself in such a negative emotional st...

Rockingham Historic Site is a little-known place with a big history. It was the home of John Berrien I (1712–1772) and George Washington's final headquarters during the Revolutionary War, located in the Rockingham section of Franklin Township in Somerset County, New Jersey. The house has been moved within southern Franklin Township several times and is now closer to the Franklin portion of Kingston than to Rocky Hill. While the Continental Congress convened in Princeton, Rockingham served as General George Washington's final Revolutionary War headquarters for over two months in 1783. On October 31, 1783, Washington and Congress received fantastic news -- the final version of the Treaty of Paris had finally been signed and the thirteen colonies were now independent of Great Britain. For eight years, Washington had served his country in the American Revolution. He wrote the Farewell Orders to the Armies of the United States at Rockingham in late October, which were then...

When you ask people what happiness means to them, most will respond with platitudes like "having a lot of money" or "being loved." To me, though, the real meaning of happiness runs a whole lot deeper. And if there ever was a definition of the word that captures the true essence of happiness, it would have to be the one below, which I found via a Facebook page a couple of days ago: "Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is." The first part of that sentence -- "what you think your life is supposed to look like" -- is simply another way of saying "social pressure." Many of us think that if we don't live up to societal expectations -- getting married, buying a house, having kids, landing a high-powered job -- we've failed ourselves and our loved ones. We're constantly comparing ourselves to friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers, ...