The TRUE meaning of happiness

When you ask people what happiness means to them, most will respond with platitudes like "having a lot of money" or "being loved."

To me, though, the real meaning of happiness runs a whole lot deeper. And if there ever was a definition of the word that captures the true essence of happiness, it would have to be the one below, which I found via a Facebook page a couple of days ago:

"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is."

The first part of that sentence -- "what you think your life is supposed to look like" -- is simply another way of saying "social pressure."

Many of us think that if we don't live up to societal expectations -- getting married, buying a house, having kids, landing a high-powered job -- we've failed ourselves and our loved ones.

We're constantly comparing ourselves to friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers, sometimes trying to emulate their lifestyle just so that we can fit in.

But succumbing to this kind of pressure is a surefire recipe for unhappiness. Compromising your beliefs and values to appease others will only leave you bitter and dissatisfied with your life. Turning your back on the things you love only because others may take exception to them is essentially living on others' terms rather than your own.

Think of it this way: The people who are pressuring you to live or act like them probably don't pay your bills. Chances are they haven't always been there for you when you've needed them. Most likely, they haven't always volunteered to give you a ride, lend you money, or watch your kid. And when you're in your deathbed, they may not be there with you either!

I don't mean to get so morbid. My point is that while people may mean well in giving us advice, they have no right to pressure us into changing, because at the end of the day, the only one whose got your back is YOU, and you should live life the way you feel like it.

As I've stressed in prior posts, people become a little uneasy when someone in the group is a little different -- they don't drink, they're not married, they're a liberal, etc. So what do they do? They attempt to change the individual because doing so validates their own decisions in life. If something is unfamiliar, most people tend to shun it.

Rather than yielding to them, I would urge a person to stick to their guns. If you're happy the way you are, then they're just going to have to live with it. Who said that a person has to take the most conventional approach in everything to be happy? What works for you may not work for someone else and vice-versa.

Embracing your uniqueness -- celebrating all that makes you YOU -- can go a long way toward finding the happiness you seek in life. Don't try to mimic others. They have their own lives to worry about. Do what makes you happy!

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

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