Your neighbor buys a brand new BMW -- the same one you eyed in a catalog last week -- and you burn with envy. Your coworker purchases a new house and invites you to a housewarming party. You debate whether to turn down the invitation only because you're angry that you haven't found a home for yourself after a frustrating two-year search.  There will always be things others possess that we wish we could own, too.  But comparing yourself to others and always trying to keep up with the Joneses is the wrong approach. If you want something badly, work hard to acquire it -- whether that means saving money for years, cutting vacations for a while, or angling for a promotion.  Once you have it in your possession, take pride in the fact that you accomplished a huge goal by virtue of your hard work -- that you rewarded yourself with something you truly deserved.  In other words, what you achieve should revolve solely around you -- not what others do o...

The word of the day is phalanx. It sounds like something that would be related to sphinxes, pyramids, and other things you'd find in, say, Egypt. I first heard the word used in the movie "Night at the Museum," which came out in 2006. Ben Stiller's character, a nightguard at the Museum of Natural History in New York, mentions that Attila the Hun -- ruler of the Hunnic Empire from 434 until 453, "surrounded himself with a phalanx of sorcerers and magicians." Per Dictionary.com, phalanx could mean the following: (1) any body of troops in close array (2) a number of individuals, especially person's united for a common purpose (3) a compact or closely massed body of persons, animals, or things In other words, it's a unique way of saying: - group -collection -myriad -throng -flock -horde I don't see phalanx being adopted in the corporate world anytime soon, but it's still a funky word nonetheless. Next time someone asks w...

It does, but only to a certain degree. Surely, one must put themselves out there in order to be noticed. A partner won't magically fall in your lap, and being holed up in your room all day greatly diminishes your prospects. But you don't want to overdo it either. A girl I used to work with treated virtually every guy she met in the workplace as a possible love interest. Vetting every man or woman you come across does come off as desperate. That's why, in the world of dating, it's better to work smarter, not harder. Go to places where people with whom you share a certain hobby are likely to be. If you want to date a bookworm, head to the library. If dancing is your thing, you might want to sign up for salsa lessons. If a partner with a great physique is atop your list, you ought to be spending time at the gym. You get the idea. You want to frequent places where you're bound to find people whose interests mirror or at least complement yours. In other words...

If people laugh at you because you're different, laugh right back at them for being all the same. I've written several posts on the importance of embracing one's uniqueness -- and disregarding what people say we should and shouldn't do -- because I think far too many of us fall victim to the herd mentality that has become so pervasive in society. On Thanksgiving night, my brother-in-law put me on the spot for not drinking. He still can't wrap his head around the fact that I don't drink. Then, two days later at my niece's afternoon birthday party, I returned the favor by asking him, "No alcohol for lunch today?" That made him a little defensive -- he pointed out how he only drinks two or three times a week -- and hopefully it conveyed that it's time to put the issue to rest. Peer pressure is even less effective on me when it comes from someone I hardly come into contact with throughout the year, like him. Here's another example: ...

On September 20, 1881, Chester Arthur was inaugurated, making him the third person to serve as president that year . The year 1881 commenced with Republican Rutherford B. Hayes in office. He served out his first and only term and officially handed the reins of government to his friend James A. Garfield in March. Just four months into his term, on July 2, Garfield was shot by a deranged assassin named Charles Guiteau, who claimed to have killed Garfield because he failed to grant him a a political appointment. Garfield sustained wounds to his abdomen and back and struggled to recover that summer. Though it seemed he'd pull through in early September, the autopsy report showed that the internal bullet wound contributed to an aneurysm that ultimately killed Garfield on September 19. The next day, Vice President Chester Arthur was sworn in as president. Garfield’s assassin wrote to the new president from jail, taking credit for propelling Arthur into the White House. Arthur ser...

Mysterious people exude a certain allure when you first get to know them. They keep us on our feet. They keep us guessing. They keep us yearning to learn more about them. I know this firsthand -- not only because I dated a couple of mysterious girls, but several I've met over the years have cited "mystique" as one of my most magnetic qualities. Being mysterious can certainly work to one's advantage during the courtship stage, especially if the object of your affection is very attractive and used to having people fawn over him or her. However, once things get more serious, it can be detrimental to a budding relationship. If one still seems mysterious after, say, five or six dates, it comes off as them hiding something, or shows an inability to open up. Naturally, most people would find such reticence a little off-putting, especially if they see the other person as being long-term material. I would let my guard down as soon as I felt comfortable enough with ...

Want to get to know people better?  Try to have one-to-one conversations with them. I've found that people tend to be more open and genuine in one-to-one conversations than they are when other people are around. Add more people to the equation and people begin putting on a facade just to fit in and make a good impression, particularly if several people in the conversation know each other. That's not to say it can't happen in a one-to-one conversation -- especially when both individuals met only recently -- but the chances of that happening are slimmer. When it's just you and another person, you're more vulnerable. Efforts be silly in order to elicit laughs may blow up in your face, and there's no one else around to back you up in case you say something you may regret. In addition, more participants bring more noise into the conversation. Suddenly you have people talking and shouting over another, not to mention going off on tangents. This makes it mu...

Yesterday, I stopped by Barnes & Noble on the way home, and I couldn't help but notice it looked unusually crowded. I felt like I was at a jam-packed Toys ''R" Us or Wal-Mart rather than a bookstore. Then I remembered: It's the holidays, dummy! And I went on a good day: Magazines were 30% off, so I snagged a special edition of TIME , which focused on the psychology of relationships, and the latest edition of Lapham's Quarterly , which centers on none other than my favorite historical figure of late -- Alexander Hamilton. I later ventured over to the kids aisle and saw a Star Wars toy that I know my nephew will go gaga over. And I grabbed it just in time, as a kid came up to me and asked where exactly had I seen the toy. To his dismay, it was the very last item of its kind in stock. It was only one day after Black Friday and I had already gotten a taste of the holiday shopping frenzy that's sure to sweep the nation over the next couple of week...

What sets a positive thinker -- an optimist -- apart from regular people is that he or she sees an opportunity in every difficult situation . For instances, a person who has just lost his job may try to capitalize on the downtime by boning up on his computer skills or trying to get his own business off the ground. A student who's just failed an exam may sign up for after-school tutoring, forging strong relationships with her teacher and fellow peers that may last beyond grade school. A troublesome car that's always breaking down may prompt someone to finally start saving up for a newer, more reliable vehicle. A person who's afraid of flying is tasked with meeting with the vice president in another country. While terrifying, it affords him the opportunity to finally conquer his fear, making future flights a lot easier to swallow. What's the common thread across all these examples? That a good situation can come out of a bad one so long as a person doesn't...