How to Read People

Whether you love reading history books or romance novels, fishing, cooking, dancing, or playing the piano, you should immerse yourself wholeheartedly in your hobbies -- and strive to cultivate new ones. Life is too darn short NOT to do the things that enrich us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And if we can find people with whom we can share such passions, it's all for the better. It's always nice to turn to something that affords respite from the daily grind, reminding us that our days shouldn't only be filled with stress, worry, and negativity. And it doesn't have to be anything extravagant. For many people, something as simple as taking the dog for a walk at a nearby park or reading science fiction stories counts as a favorite pastime. But when we're busy with work, chores, or the kids, we can be hard-pressed to work time for hobbies into our schedules. That's when having a friend or relative who can lend a hand -- even if onl...

In my prior post, I noted how knowledge is the only thing that can't be taken away from you. I'll now qualify that statement by adding that your uniqueness -- the essence of your truest self -- cannot be pilfered from you either, unless you allow it to be. There will always be someone who envies or feels threatened by you. To overcome their insecurities, they might try to steer you down a different path -- as in, make you more like them and less like yourself. But never give in! No matter what sets you apart -- your aversion to drinking, your bookworm tendencies, your preference for the single life, your decision to rent and move every two years as opposed to buying property and putting down roots -- your life is your own, and you should strive to do whatever makes you happy. (So long, of course, as you're not hurting anybody in the process, even yourself.) If being yourself doesn't make you the coolest guy or gal in the room, so be it. It's better to ...

The following two quotes are attributed to the late science fiction writer Isaac Asimov: "Education isn't something you can finish." "Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is." The prolific Asimov, who wrote or edited over 500 books and penned roughly 90,000 postcards and letters in his lifetime, was absolutely correct on both counts. It's a shame that in this age of rapid technological advancement, students leave education in the rear-view mirror, maintaining that their learning days are surely over. But who says that we have to dump our books in crates as soon as we snag our diploma? Why not continue delving into Shakespeare, Newton, or Lincoln even after we've left the Ivory Tower? What many people fail to realize is that schools, colleges, and universities merely scratch the surface of the course offerings they make available to students. You can't possibly expect more than a cursory look, for exa...

Here's one important tip to remember when navigating the vagaries of human relationships: You don't have to choose between being kind and drawing boundaries. Both can be done simultaneously. In other words, you can be courteous without permitting others to step over you. You can be firm without launching into an expletive-laced tirade. Unfortunately, some people struggle to walk this fine line. They can't help but vacillate between outright rage and saccharine kindness. You'venbecause a person likes you doesn't mean they respect you. And if you never stand up for yourself -- in a diplomatic manner, of course -- they'll just assume they can get away with everything and anything. This extends to all relationships in your life -- your marriage, your friendships, and your work relationships included. Now, standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean engaging someone in a fight, whether of the verbal or fist variety. In fact, merely walking aw...

What would you say is the most clear-cut predictor of how someone will behave in the future? If you said "past behavior," you've hit the nail on the head.  Sure, people can surprise us by radically deviating from prior behavior, but this tends to be the exception rather than the rule. For example, if your friend routinely exhibits a noticeable aversion toward silly comedies, chances are he will continue to loathe such movies. If your sister displays an acute dislike of seafood, she's bound to avoid lobster, crab, and all manner of sea creatures for the foreseeable future. When it's hard to decode a person's true intentions, you have only two tools you can leverage: your gut and, you guessed it, the person's track record. If you lure someone away from a competing firm to come work for you, rest assured they can be coaxed into bolting from yours. If someone cheats on their spouse with you, who's to say they won't cheat on you with som...