How to Read People

Allow me to impart to you this important nugget of wisdom on the pursuit of happiness: Seeking perfection -- whether in your job or your relationships -- will yield no fruit. And the reason why is because there's no such thing as the perfect job or relationship. Sure, one should never remain trapped in a situation that has them feeling drained and utterly miserable. Life is too short for that. But people who hop from one job or relationship to the other until they found one that meets all their criteria are sure to come up empty. When it comes to jobs and relationships -- and, more broadly, life itself -- there is just too much that lies outside our control. In the case of jobs, it's everything from toxic co-workers to economic uncertainty. The company may go belly-up tomorrow, leaving you in the lurch financially. Your boss, normally a cool, easy-going guy, may become a raging psychopath as he grapples with a bitter divorce. And as far as relationships, it...

Many of us become stressed by our inability to control the future. For example, you may be ruminating night and day about how different things at work will be once your boss retires. Or maybe you're on edge over the fact that you've only recently gotten into a relationship and you don't know if it's going to work out. Maybe your spirits are low because you've been looking to buy a house for some time now to no avail. If there's one certainty in life, it's that life is uncertain. The only constant in our lives is change. Rather than sulking about it, we have to roll with the punches. It doesn't benefit you to fear worst-case scenarios that may never come to pass. You can plan for the worst, yes. Just don't convince yourself that the worst is actually going to happen because that will only make you into a nervous wreck. If we do find ourselves in that situation, we deal with it at that point. But agonizing over it in advance will on...

Sometimes it isn't that someone has changed, but that now you see them for who they really are. It can be disappointing to realize that someone whom you held in high esteem -- whether an old friend or relatively new girlfriend -- isn't as you imagined. Maybe you've noticed a pattern of lies, throwing cold water on the rosy impression you'd built of them in your mind. Perhaps they'd hidden the fact that they have a massive heap of debt, a never-before-mentioned ex who continues reaching out to them, or aspirations of moving to Europe in a year. Do some people change for the worst over time? In some instances, yes. It's possible they could grow complacent, envious, or flat-out bitter in the relationship, and things like alcohol and stress at work may be culprits -- though they're certainly not valid reasons for bad behavior. But in other cases, they manage to put up a front -- rather effectively, I might add -- that may persist for years. The p...

If someone in your life has a tendency to push you around, it's time to stand firm. It doesn't matter whether it's your partner, friend, sibling, or co-worker. No one deserves to be treated that way. The sad truth is that bullying isn't limited to adolescents who make fun of other kids' weight or beleaguer them for lunch money. Adults, too, can manipulate and take advantage of people in their orbit. One surefire way for things to reach this point  is by allowing people to perceive you as a pushover. Once they see you as someone they can run roughshod over, they'll carry on until you put a stop to such distasteful behavior. So, you're likely asking how you can tackle the problem. I always advise people to try to have an honest conversation in private first. You never know if the person harbors ill will toward you because of a misunderstanding, a false rumor, or a mistaken first impression. In that conversation, it's important to driv...

Have you shrunk yourself out of fear of change, failure, or the unknown? Have you carved out big plans for yourself, only to continue putting them off year after year? We've all been there. Ah, yes, that nagging self-doubt that all but paralyzes us from working toward goals big and small -- and induces us to give up prematurely. No one says you have to give in to those pesky negative thoughts. When they resurface, stop and ask yourself this question: "Who says I can't succeed?" If it's you, it's time to reframe your thinking. And if it's others who are attempting to demotivate you, you're certainly in the wrong company. As a matter of fact, if you're willing to invest the time, energy, and resources into making your dreams a reality, you can achieve anything! Rather than harp on what may go wrong, why not envisage things going well for you? If you always fear failure -- keeping you ensconced in your cozy comfort zone -- you ma...