How to Read People

By now, you may have picked up on a common refrain across many of my posts: That happiness lies in the present, which is why we should aim to live in the here and now. Sadly, however, many people live only for a better tomorrow. Then, when tomorrow comes, their focus is still on the future.  There's nothing wrong with being forward-looking and continually aiming to achieve goals. But unless one takes time every now and then to appreciate the present -- to come up for air and smell the roses, so to speak -- they will always find themselves in a state of yearning rather than contentment. For example, some people have an insatiable appetite for acquiring material goods, whether they be clothes, shoes, gadgets, and cars. No sooner do they get their hands on one than they already set their sights on their next conquest. They may leave the item collecting dust, rendering it obsolete in a few years. In essence, they're all about the chase. Once what they want is in their...

Gallup's annual survey of global emotions has unveiled that last year, Americans experienced anger, stress, and worry at levels eclipsing those observed over the past 10 years. The data is based on polling of over 150,000 people around the world, including 1,000 Americans. Americans' stress levels were significantly higher than the global average of 35 percent, leaving the U.S. tied for fourth (alongside Iran, Albania, and Sri Lanka) in Gallup's ranking of the most stressed populations around the globe. Greece came in first at 59 percent, while Tanzania and the Phillipines followed closely behind. As far as worry, the U.S. came in at 45 percent, slightly higher than the global average of 39 percent. (Mozambique has the world's most worried population with 63 percent.) And in terms of anger, although Anericans experienced the emotion at levels on par with the global average of 22 percent, this figure was still higher than in prior years. In fact, U.S. respo...

Many people are under the misapprehension that only by gaining the approval of others can we truly be happy. But this couldn't be further from the truth. While people can certainly enrich our lives, some individuals lock themselves into the mindset that without others' validation, they must be doing something wrong. It compels them to plead with these people for answers. It pushes them to change in any way necessary to gain their acceptance. Granted, if the person in question is living recklessly -- say, doing drugs, mistreating his wife, or gambling away his savings every weekend -- it is not surprising that others may not wish to associate themselves with the individual until he changes his ways. But if he isn't harming himself or anyone else, there's no reason to deprive himself of experiencing happiness merely because certain people may not give their stamp of approval. But here's the thing: Happiness comes from inside of you. Others' approval ...

Isn't it terrible when someone you care about takes you for granted? It could be a partner, a friend, or even a relative who: Turns to you only when they need something Leaves you in the lurch when you're in a rough patch yourself Insists they will change, but they never do Seems to prioritize everyone in his or her life except you No matter how often you convey that you feel angry, hurt, and taken advantage of, they carry on with the behavior, assuming that you're going to stick around. Their reasoning is: If you haven't left already, why would you now? This is precisely the kind of mindset that causes so many relationships to go under. Some people expect the other person to do all the work, thinking that alone will sustain the relationship. Or, they may do a little here and there, but never commit themselves to the degree the other person is. Sooner or later, the person being taken for a ride gives up and moves on. In certain cases, the other in...

Most people -- male or female, college student or seasoned professional -- would attest to desiring a long-term relationship. Or, if they're already in one, for that relationship to last a long time, if not forever. Research has shown that a surefire predictor of relationship success is getting to know each other before marriage and/or cohabitation is brought into the conversation.  Now, that's not to say that a relationship won't last if the pair marry or move in with each other speedily after meeting. Chances are, many of us know someone who did just that and they're still with their significant other. But this is the exception rather than the rule. It makes complete sense why a couple that chooses not to rush to the alter and/or shack up so quickly has a better chance of seeing their relationship last. For one, they afford themselves time to really get to know each other. That includes gaining a good grasp on one another's: Dreams and aspirations ...