How to Read People

It can be, at least in certain situations. Here's my take: I feel I get to know someone better on a one-to-one basis. Adding a third person to the equation can change the dynamics of the encounter considerably. A third person brings their own opinions and idiosyncrasies into the mix, some of which you may not find agreeable. That's not to say that three or four close friends can't have a great night out. They certainly can. But when you're getting to know someone, bringing another person into the picture can hamper your ability to get to know him or her on a more personal level. This also happens when you already know the person and would rather talk about certain things you both like and typically talk about -- whether sports, the news, or celebrity gossip. I've found that when it's a party of two, both people open up in ways they wouldn't with other people around, or they just act differently. For example, when we first started dating, I ne...

Many of my friends have me give their resumes and cover letters a once-over before they apply for any job. You'd be amazed at how many glaring typos I find on the documents. It goes without saying that you must proofread your materials before sending them off . Use spell checker to find any spelling mistakes, then print the documents and scan them slowly. If you go too quickly, your eyes will assume everything is error-free -- after all, you've been working on them for quite a while. Have a more seasoned proofreader look over your stuff if need be. You might be asking yourself, "Why should I worry so much about spelling and grammar? I'm not applying for a writing position here!" Even if the actual position requires little to no writing, employers use resumes and cover letters to pre-screen candidates. If they're rife with errors, employers will infer that the candidate is not detail-oriented and will produce sloppy work while on the job. Thus, it s...

Back in the old days, people would communicate exclusively via written letters that often took weeks, if not months, to arrive. While letters are still used today -- mostly by companies wanting us to sign up for credit cards or enroll in some form of membership with them -- it's become somewhat outdated as far as communications between friends and family are concerned. And the same can be said for making phone calls. That's thanks largely to the advent and ubiquity of texting and social media. If you're like me, you probably receive congratulations for promotions and other achievements -- not to mention holiday and birthday wishes, condolences, and so forth -via text or Facebook, even from your closest friends. Sure, we all know a couple of people who might still call or pay a visit -- the "old school" set -- but it's become increasingly rare. There's no question that texting and social media are convenient (and fairly cheap) methods of staying...

When I consider my closest friendships, I always ask one thing:  Would we have clicked in the same way had we met a year later?  Five years later? Ten years after? Chances are, we would not. The reasons why we gel more with certain people are almost self-explanatory. In general, most of our friends are close to us in age. It's not at all surprising given we probably met them in school or doing some activity that people in our age bracket might enjoy. I met my closest friends in different stages of my life: one in elementary school, one in middle school, one in high school, one in college, and one at my second job out of college. Three of them are single guys with no kids, while the other two -- the best man at my wedding and a female coworker I recently addressed in a prior post -- are married with children. Can you guess which of these friends I see and talk to more? Indeed, my friendships with these two latter friends has changed drastically since they became p...

Friendships usually change a great deal when one or both people get into relationships . In a way, this is to be expected. People get busier and tend to put their significant before anyone else. And once kids come along, this is only magnified tenfold. The most noticeable shift is that face time with the friend becomes very hard to come by. In most cases, the friends still manage keep in touch via text, email, or Facebook, but plans made with partners now preclude outings to the movies, concerts, and elsewhere that the friends used to make at the drop of the hat. That's not to say that seeing each other becomes impossible once one or both friends are in a relationship, but it takes more effort and planning. Obviously, any proposed plans with friends now have to be run by the significant other, who may or may not be on board. That was never an issue when the friends were both single. A great example of this is my friendship with an ex co-worker of mine, Elizabeth. During t...