When someone tells you they're not ready or interested in a relationship right now, what should you do?
Should you take them at their word?
Should you still make an effort to change their mind?
The answer should be obvious: Do not commit to someone who isn't inclined to commit to you.
You don't want to invest time, energy, and feelings in someone who just wants a no-strings-attached kind of deal.
If that's what you desire as well, fine. But if you're past the casual flings and yearn for something more substantive, you shouldn't bother with these folks.
You should consider yourself fortunate if the person tells you upfront that they're not interested in something serious. That affords you the opportunity to move on and look for someone whose plans align with yours.
In some cases, people will feign interest in a long-term commitment just to get into the other person's bed or wallet. Everything seems kosher until subjects like meeting one another's parents, moving in together, getting married, or having kids is broached. It is then that the uncommitted partner may suddenly stop answering calls and texts, using the pretext that he or she is busy or not feeling well.
Whether the hesitant partner is a commitmentphobe or just isn't feeling it for you, they may try to assure you otherwise through their words. But as I've emphasized in other posts, if their actions don't line up, they are lying to you straight up.
I'm not saying they'll never conquer this reluctance to take things to the next level, but it isn't worth it to put your love life on hold for them. There's no guarantee they'll ever change their mind. And even if they do, it begs the question: Do they have genuine feelings for you, or are they suddenly interested because it didn't pan out with somebody else?
There are those who simply want what they can't have -- but once they reel you in, their interest fades. You don't want to become tangled in their web of selfishness and deception.
Rest assured that the right person for you won't make you jump so many hoops. You won't feel like you're pulling their teeth to go out with or commit to you.
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