Here's a dating tip you won't want to miss

Ah, the bumpy, unpredictable world of dating.

Whether we're meeting someone for the first time on a blind date or being fixed up by a mutual friend, dating can sure seem like a labyrinth sometimes!

Not to mention you never really know what to expect.

Some people may turn out to be total weirdos. Others may seem like the complete package, only they're already married and looking for some on the side. Still others, despite appearing to be nice people, are ones we're just not attracted to, no matter how much we try to will ourselves toward liking them more.

In this post, I'd like to share a dating tip that will improve your odds of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

Ready?

When you're getting to know someone, aim to see them for who they are rather than who you want them to be.

This is easier said than done sometimes during the so-called honeymoon stage in which hormones are raging and stomachs become flooded with butterflies.

But sooner or later, a person's true self comes out, and you'll begin to see those red flags you should not become oblivious to.

Maybe they mention in passing that they'd rather go to jail than get married and have kids (both of which you may desire).

Or perhaps they frequently ask you for money even though they mentioned having a stable job. (What are they spending that money on?)

Look, nobody's perfect. We all grapple with problems and have made mistakes in the past.

But you definitely want to choose someone who owns up to their struggles and is visibly working on improving themselves. Someone with goals and dreams. Someone who is taking steps toward securing a bright future for themselves.

Because if they aren't in that frame of mind, they may simply be looking for someone else -- perhaps you in this case -- to complete them or otherwise fix their problems.

You definitely don't want to end up with someone who's needy, immature, and/or selfish.

And as I've noted in prior posts, staying in the relationship in hopes that they'll change tends to be a losing proposition.

Don't look at potential partners through rose-colored glasses. Everyone puts his or her best foot forward in the beginning, but the overarching questions you must ask yourself are:

Whether they'll stick around in times of hardship
Whether they're genuinely kind, honest, and loyal
If they'll wish to stay in the relationship once the honeymoon stage concludes

They can ask these very questions of you as well. And if one or both partners decide that the most authentic version of the other person isn't to their liking, it's time to call it quits.

Again, if your gut is telling you that the individual just isn't for you, listen to it.

Don't set unreasonably high expectations of the other person. Don't assume that they will side with you on every issue or share the same hobbies, values, or beliefs.

Allow things to take their natural course. If it doesn't work out, rest assured that someone much better is out there.

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog