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Never make excuses for someone who mistreats you

Whether it's a cheating spouse, a friend who takes you for granted, or a coworker who stabs you in the back whenever you're not present, no one should make excuses for another person's unsavory behavior.

If the person is making a genuine effort to clean up their act, that's one thing.

But if they pledge they're going to change, and yet you catch them pulling the same stunts over and over again, they're making a mockery of your compassion.

At that point, you have to decide whether to continue giving them the benefit of the doubt, or calling it quits once and for all.

It isn't as easy to walk when you're dealing with a coworker and you wish to keep your job. In that case, you may consider asking for a transfer or moving to a cubicle further away from the individual.

You might also think twice about ending the friendship if you each have mutual friends. You may worry that he or she will talk smack to the others about you (if they haven't already), possibly putting those friendships in jeopardy as well.

But if they're really your friends, they'll wish to remain friends without picking sides, and they'll have no problem arranging meetings that don't involve the troublesome friend.

And don't even think about blaming yourself!

I don't care what kind of relationship it is: new or old, friendly or romantic, exciting or dull.

No one deserves to be treated like garbage, even if they made mistakes that may have rankled the other person. It's not your fault, so don't act as if you brought it on yourself.

Could you have behaved differently? Absolutely. But in a healthy relationship, people don't play games of tit for tat. They don't seek revenge on one another. They discuss and work through their issues like civilized adults.

If someone is adversely affecting your health -- causing you to feel depressed or anxious -- it's time to take action. You wouldn't want the situation to turn violent/abusive, so get out of it sooner rather than later!

Sadly, many people will assure you that they will change, but in the end, their intentions aren't pure -- and chances are they never will be.

The point bears repeating: Be careful who you trust. Don't let anyone become comfortable with the idea of treating you poorly. Stand up for yourself and assert your right to be treated respectfully.

If he or she refuses to learn from their mistakes, that's not your problem. They will have to learn the hard way that people's feelings are not to be trifled with.

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