People should never give others false hope

One of the most disconcerting trends I've noticed in the dating world concerns people who go on dates with others despite not being interested in them.

After the date, they remain in contact with the individual, giving the impression that they look forward to going on future dates with them even though they have no intention of doing so.

In fact, they may very well be going on dates with other men or women in the meantime.

So, why not just tell the person they're no longer interested? Why string them along at all?

Reasons can be quite varied:

They've just ended a relationship and wish for another's company.

They are not attracted to the person, but still relish the attention.

They see the potential for a budding friendship.

They already have their eye on someone they have yet to snag, so they use other dates as temporary stand-ins.

I don't blame people for not having feelings for someone else. After all, the heart wants what it wants.

I do, however, take issue with leading someone on.

People's feelings are not toys to be trifled with.

By leading someone on, you risk causing them great emotional pain. A broken heart can sink someone into a deep state of grief, triggering depression, anxiety, or other adverse outcomes.

To lead someone on betrays selfishness and insensitivity. I'm sure such individuals would not like people to do it to them.

It is my hope that if people find themselves with someone who claims to be interested but never bothers to show it, they walk away.

Actions always tell whether a person's words have substance, or if they're nothing but hot hair.

No person deserves to be used and led on. At the end of the day, people can save a great deal of time -- and spare others potential heartache -- by being transparent. Let them go so they can find someone who will truly make them happy.

If they're too selfish and callous to do that, then it's a testament to how utterly cruel human beings can really be.

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog