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Here's how our minds can play tricks on us

Earlier this week, I watched a video on psychological techniques employed in marketing and advertising.

One of the subjects they talked about extends well beyond the world of promotion. In fact, it's something we do in our lives quite often, sometimes to our detriment.

They touched upon what is called the focusing illusion. 

In a nutshell, it means that the more you think about something, the more importance you assign it.

The moment you convince yourself that you're hungry, you might not want to do anything else until you've grabbed something to nosh on. And you might find yourself unable to stop thinking about an ad you saw on TV promoting the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte the night before.

Moreover, we tend to see the focusing illusion in action when it comes to those things that make us excited, nervous, or sad. A couple of examples include:

  • Not being able to take your mind off a new girl you just met
  • Being consumed by negative thoughts as your doctor's appointment nears
  • Dwelling on the manner in which your coworker slighted you at work 
  • Ruminating about a job you applied for as you await a response from the employer 
If you're thinking that the focusing illusion seems like it could lead to anxiety if left unchecked, you wouldn't be off the mark. 

We may think about certain things or people (e.g., an ex boyfriend that broke up with you unexpectedly) to the point of near-obsession, which isn't healthy. It can certainly induce a state of anxiousness in us and interfere with our day-to-day activities. 

There's no question there are things and individuals we consider important, and that's why we think about them quite a lot.

But we must remind ourselves that thinking about them constantly isn't going to do magic. 

Mulling things over and over won't, say, change a failing marriage or improve relationships at work. Instead, you must leverage the thoughts toward concrete steps to resolve whatever problem you're facing. 

Maybe you finally decide to have a conversation with your partner or colleague and lay everything on the table. That may put you at ease and reorient your thinking so that your mind is free to focus on other (more positive) stuff.

And it always helps to find ways to distract yourself, whether that be listening to music, learning a new language, playing with your dog, or reading a book. Just because things may not be perfect in your life -- news flash, they never will -- doesn't mean you should keep yourself from seeking out the kinds of things that bring you happiness. 

There's no question as to the immense power of the human mind. Our thoughts can make the difference between a good day and a bad one, which is why we should do whatever we can so that they don't take us to a dark place and become a source of serious distress in our lives. 

Don't let thoughts of any one person or event control your life. 

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