2 musts for a happier life

Want a happier life?

Many people assume that material possessions are essential to securing happiness, but this couldn't be farther from the truth.

In fact, here are two rules of thumb for achieving a more fulfilling life:

1. Use things, not people.

2. Love people, not things.

It goes without saying that using people -- especially by trifling with their feelings -- is unacceptable. Save for cheating, stealing, or inflicting physical harm, taking advantage of others is the surest way to run your relationship with them into the ground.

Now, just because you use things doesn't mean you have to place your happiness in them.

Material stuff -- from fancy cars to high-end watches-- serve to make us look stylish and our lives easier in many ways.

But such things wear and tear. No sooner do you get excited about owning the object than you're already planning what you'll buy next. Indeed, the novelty of owing stuff is only ephemeral.

A nice pair of shoes won't comfort you after a rough day or make you any less uneasy about an upcoming exam or doctor's visit.

People we care about -- whether our kids or closest friends -- can help calm our fears or relieve feelings of depression we may experience from time to time. That being said, they should enrich our lives far more than a pair of snazzy earrings ever could. (If that's not the case, something is amiss.)

To be fair, there are certain things we can love because we're attached to them on a deeper level -- one that goes beyond their purely functional attributes. For example, an old blanket passed down three generations in your family may hold a special place in your heart.

Or perhaps you have an extensive collection of books or coins that you've been amassing since you were a child.

But having to own the latest iPhone or newest Louis Vuitton purse even though yours is barely a year old? That's excessive and typifies a problem many people grapple with: It isn't so much about owning something as it is satisfying the appetite to acquire something new -- often before their peers do.

Even for those who recognize that material objects should be secondary to friends and loved ones, it's important to remember that even people don't complete us.

Never should anyone be relied upon to fix our problems. While they can provide an attentive ear or shoulder to lean on -- which can definitely come in handy when we're in a dark place in our lives -- true happiness comes from within.

In other words, while others can make our lives happier, we should never convince ourselves that without them our lives will never be whole.

And when we talk about loving people, that really starts with us. We can't love others until we love ourselves.

In short, material objects could/should never be as valuable as our relationships with the people we love, but those relationships can't take root and flourish until we develop and sustain a love for ourselves.

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

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Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

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