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Don't rely on people to be happy...

Don't rely on people to be happy. Turn to them to be happier. 

Notice the subtle difference in wording.

Counting on someone to be happy-- whether it's a friend or partner -- means that everything from your mood to your self-value is inextricably tied to how that person makes you feel. You're essentially conditioning whether you have a great day (or life) on him or her.

I don't know about you, but to me that seems like an awful lot of pressure placed on any one individual.

If you do this, you're setting your expectations unreasonably high.

People will disappoint you sooner or later -- there's no way around it. By expecting someone to think and act as you would want them to all the time, you're making it virtually impossible for them to meet your standards. You're setting them up for failure without even realizing it.

People are human. They will do things sometimes that will leave you scratching your head in bewilderment. You may turn to them for advice and not always get what you want to hear. Or, you might catch them in a lie and find your trust in them put to the test.

As I've noted in earlier posts, relationships are meant to enhance our lives, not complete them.

I like to instead view them as icing on the cake. A cake can be appetizing even without the icing, but the icing gives it more of a kick. Thus, you'll probably enjoy the cake more if it has icing, but that doesn't mean it won't hit the spot without it.

Happiness comes from within. You should feel content with your life in spite of your relationships, not because of them. Why?

Because friends and significant others come and go, whether due to distance, a breakdown in communication, deception, and so forth.

Ask yourself this: If a relationship with someone you care about were to end tomorrow, would you be able to muster the strength to move ahead eventually, or would you fall apart and sink into a drawn-out depression?

If it's the latter, it means you're probably relying too heavily on relationships to be happy.

I understand it can be brutal when that person is, say, your spouse or an old friend, and you have every right to be alone and try to make sense of it all. But remember -- there was a time that that person wasn't in your life, and you were still happy. It can happen again.

It's human nature that we become attached, but we should always be prepared to let go should things not go as planned. Love your life independent of everyone else in it. Again, think of them as icing on the cake. They enrich your life, but they do not complete it.

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