Skip to main content

Don't rely on people to be happy...

Don't rely on people to be happy. Turn to them to be happier. 

Notice the subtle difference in wording.

Counting on someone to be happy-- whether it's a friend or partner -- means that everything from your mood to your self-value is inextricably tied to how that person makes you feel. You're essentially conditioning whether you have a great day (or life) on him or her.

I don't know about you, but to me that seems like an awful lot of pressure placed on any one individual.

If you do this, you're setting your expectations unreasonably high.

People will disappoint you sooner or later -- there's no way around it. By expecting someone to think and act as you would want them to all the time, you're making it virtually impossible for them to meet your standards. You're setting them up for failure without even realizing it.

People are human. They will do things sometimes that will leave you scratching your head in bewilderment. You may turn to them for advice and not always get what you want to hear. Or, you might catch them in a lie and find your trust in them put to the test.

As I've noted in earlier posts, relationships are meant to enhance our lives, not complete them.

I like to instead view them as icing on the cake. A cake can be appetizing even without the icing, but the icing gives it more of a kick. Thus, you'll probably enjoy the cake more if it has icing, but that doesn't mean it won't hit the spot without it.

Happiness comes from within. You should feel content with your life in spite of your relationships, not because of them. Why?

Because friends and significant others come and go, whether due to distance, a breakdown in communication, deception, and so forth.

Ask yourself this: If a relationship with someone you care about were to end tomorrow, would you be able to muster the strength to move ahead eventually, or would you fall apart and sink into a drawn-out depression?

If it's the latter, it means you're probably relying too heavily on relationships to be happy.

I understand it can be brutal when that person is, say, your spouse or an old friend, and you have every right to be alone and try to make sense of it all. But remember -- there was a time that that person wasn't in your life, and you were still happy. It can happen again.

It's human nature that we become attached, but we should always be prepared to let go should things not go as planned. Love your life independent of everyone else in it. Again, think of them as icing on the cake. They enrich your life, but they do not complete it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...