Skip to main content

Relationships: The gift of missing someone

Once you've been in a relationship for a while, there's a good chance things will start to become routine.

You'll spend an inordinate amount of time together, leading to complacency in the relationship.

Unfortunately, couples who are attached at the hip risk growing bored of one another. It happens more often than you think.

So what can do to avoid this fate?

Before you got into your relationship, you had a life of your own right? Well, that doesn't have to change once you become involved with someone.

The two of you have separate hobbies -- from sports to mall hopping -- that you can enjoy alone or with friends. Have a boys' or girls' night, with only your close buddies in attendance.

Your partner does not have to accompany you everywhere you go. Leave a little mystery. You shouldn't be able to predict each other's every move.

Spending hours apart here and there affords both of you the opportunity to miss each other. It builds anticipation, as both of you can look forward to sharing details on the day's events.

And resist the urge to engage in back-and-forth texting. If you're going to be communicating digitally, you might as well stay home all day together.

Of course, couples should not spend too much time apart either. If days turn into weeks of not seeing each other, something is seriously amiss.

It's all about striking the right balance, much like everything else in life. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, much too much distance can water down the relationship to the point where one or more partners may stray.

Next time you find your relationship in a rut, try giving your partner the gift of missing you. Give each other a little breathing room. It may just be what it needs to get on the right track.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...