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THIS will kill any relationship

I've stressed in several blog posts that a relationship devoid of trust and communication is destined to fail.

Can you guess what a relationship should NOT have if it is to have any chance at success?

The answer is selfishness.

You know you're ready for a relationship when you're willing to put someone else's needs and cares before yours.

This doesn't mean you have to do away with everything you care about. (If your partner imposes this on you, you're with the wrong person.)

Instead, you should be willing to share your time and energies with your partner, taking into account what they want to do, what they want to eat, where they want to go.

The TV isn't just yours anymore, and neither is your money. When it comes to relationships, sharing is caring.

There is no place for selfishness in a relationship. You shouldn't get to watch baseball every night like you did when you were single, and she shouldn't hog it for herself to see marathons on the Food Channel. Fair is fair.

It goes without saying that if your partner appears to be using you for your money, you should waste no time kicking him or her to the curb.

However, if someone refuses to shell out any money whatsoever for the other, it raises serious questions. If they're that cheap, who's to say they'll chip in for a wedding band, honeymoon or kids, if it even gets that far?

If you don't wish to commit time and money into a relationship -- if you're still at the stage where you'd rather put yourself first -- that's fine. Just don't deceive someone into thinking you are ready for that kind of serious commitment and then backpedal. That reeks of utter selfishness.

And if you're not ready to put your partner first, you're definitely not ready to have children.
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