Many people use the words "alone" and "lonely" as if they mean the same thing, when in reality they don't. I wanted to address the key differences between both in what I hope will be a very illuminating post.
The primary difference between these words is as follows: Being alone is done by choice, while loneliness is not sought by the individual.
How many times have we said or heard someone say "I'd like to be alone." There are times when even the most extroverted among us seek solitude, whether it's to clear our heads, gather our thoughts following an unexpected breakup, or just relish some peace and quiet.
On the other hand, feeling lonely is not something people typically aim for. Loneliness has a negative connotation to it because it reflects a yearning for someone else's company -- an unpleasant state we'd rather not be in.
As I have mentioned in earlier entries, a person could actually feel lonelier in a group than by himself. The reason for this is that you might be witnessing others converse and connect in a way that you're unable to, whatever the context may be. Maybe you just can't relate to them because they share different interests, or they're much younger and/or older than you. This has happened to me countless times at corporate team-building events.
I am a proud introvert, and I never, ever feel lonely when I'm by myself. I have a rich, active mind that keeps me occupied. From books to writing to movies, I can while the afternoon away doing any number of things.
I do like the company of my wife, family members, and closest friends. But when I'm around a lot of people I don't know -- say, at a corporate function -- I become drained and lonely quite easily. If I can find that one person with which to have a deep conversation, then that social outing becomes a whole lot more tolerable.
I have always preferred small gatherings to big parties. A group of 2 or 3 works fine for me -- it's small enough where everyone can take turns talking. When it gets to the point where people have to talk over each other, it becomes too much to bear.
Also, the more people you have, the greater the chances that someone will talk about something you can't relate to, thus leading you to feel more disconnected. Keeping it small allows one to maintain more control over the conversation.
To make the assumption that one who values alone time is somehow flawed makes absolutely no sense. Just because someone prefers his own company to that of others doesn't make him a sociopath or loser.
A person who craves alone time wants just that -- to be alone. It doesn't mean he or she is lonely and secretly begging for someone else's company.
Don't feel you ever have to justify your reasons for wanting some "me" time. If anyone gives you a hard time about it and immediately assumes you suffer from loneliness, tell them your own company makes you happy -- and leave it at that.
The primary difference between these words is as follows: Being alone is done by choice, while loneliness is not sought by the individual.
How many times have we said or heard someone say "I'd like to be alone." There are times when even the most extroverted among us seek solitude, whether it's to clear our heads, gather our thoughts following an unexpected breakup, or just relish some peace and quiet.
On the other hand, feeling lonely is not something people typically aim for. Loneliness has a negative connotation to it because it reflects a yearning for someone else's company -- an unpleasant state we'd rather not be in.
As I have mentioned in earlier entries, a person could actually feel lonelier in a group than by himself. The reason for this is that you might be witnessing others converse and connect in a way that you're unable to, whatever the context may be. Maybe you just can't relate to them because they share different interests, or they're much younger and/or older than you. This has happened to me countless times at corporate team-building events.
I am a proud introvert, and I never, ever feel lonely when I'm by myself. I have a rich, active mind that keeps me occupied. From books to writing to movies, I can while the afternoon away doing any number of things.
I do like the company of my wife, family members, and closest friends. But when I'm around a lot of people I don't know -- say, at a corporate function -- I become drained and lonely quite easily. If I can find that one person with which to have a deep conversation, then that social outing becomes a whole lot more tolerable.
I have always preferred small gatherings to big parties. A group of 2 or 3 works fine for me -- it's small enough where everyone can take turns talking. When it gets to the point where people have to talk over each other, it becomes too much to bear.
Also, the more people you have, the greater the chances that someone will talk about something you can't relate to, thus leading you to feel more disconnected. Keeping it small allows one to maintain more control over the conversation.
To make the assumption that one who values alone time is somehow flawed makes absolutely no sense. Just because someone prefers his own company to that of others doesn't make him a sociopath or loser.
A person who craves alone time wants just that -- to be alone. It doesn't mean he or she is lonely and secretly begging for someone else's company.
Don't feel you ever have to justify your reasons for wanting some "me" time. If anyone gives you a hard time about it and immediately assumes you suffer from loneliness, tell them your own company makes you happy -- and leave it at that.
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We have a lot to learn and instead of using the technology to find answers, we put technology as our goal.