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UNEXPECTED: This actually hurts relationships

Know how they say that too much of something tends to be bad?

Well, that applies to relationships in myriad ways. But the one I'd like to discuss in this post is spending too much time together.

Many people think that the more time you spend with someone the better, and that spending time apart can seriously weaken a relationship.

The truth of the matter is that either extreme isn't healthful.

When you spend too much time together, you leave yourselves with little to talk about. Things become routine -- you find yourselves going to the same restaurants and conversing about the same things.

Spending a lot of time together works at the beginning of a friendship or relationship because you're both getting to know each other. Everything seems new and exciting, and the hours just seem to fly by.

But once the relationship has matured and you've grown accustomed to each other's quirks, spending too much time together can begin to be detrimental.
The things that seemed amusing before can now get on your nerves. Now you both bicker over the most minute things.

But giving each other a little space lets both individuals disconnect from one another (albeit briefly) and have more things -- new ones, of course -- to contribute to the conversation the next time they convene.

Obviously, it isn't always easy to spend time away from people you live with, including your spouse and kids. That's where an occasional boys/girls night would do you some good. Or, just coordinate with your partner so that each of you can get at least a couple of hours a week to do things on your own or with friends, whether it be working out or going to the library.

But spending too much time with the same friend(s) isn't advisable either. Why not arrange to go out with different friends on different weeks? That keeps things in each friendship fresh and interesting.

They may say that we're social creatures, but spending time with the same people day in and day out can be suffocating. If most of us had the choice, we wouldn't work with the same people for 40 or more hours per week. Is it any surprise that so many of us clash with our coworkers?

Never feel guilty for creating some level of space between yourself and those closest to you. Of course, too much space can work against you ("out of sight, out of mind"), so you'll want to arrive at a happy medium. You'll see that, in the long run, it'll make your relationships far more interesting and less likely to stagnate.

Do you agree?

For more insightful posts, click here: How to Understand People

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