Skip to main content

Some people try TOO HARD to impress others

My friend (let's call him "Don") has become a completely different person since hooking up with his girlfriend of 6 months (let's call her "Lisa"). I've known the guy since high school, and let's just say the humility that once set him apart from everyone else has fallen by the wayside. Long story short, he got a good job, bought a new car, and started kissing nearly every girl that struck his fancy.

Now that he's with Lisa, he has souped up his car and prattles on and on about going to the gym and bulking up. Once unpretentious and hardly concerned with looks, popularity, and material things, the new Don gives fresh meaning to "flashy" and "cocky."

There's nothing wrong with someone's self-confidence getting a boost. After all, we tend to feel really good about ourselves whenever we're making more money and getting increased attention from the opposite sex.

But you can tell when a person is trying a bit too hard. The air of confidence Don exudes sometimes seems forced and unnatural. It's almost as though he feels a person with more money, a nice car, and a girlfriend should project more self-assurance, even at the risk of seeming too self-absorbed.

The thing is that the line between self-confidence and arrogance is a fine one indeed. It's pretty obvious his reasons for wanting to work out go beyond simply keeping fit. He can't get enough of all the female attention he's supposedly getting now.

And he tries to act overly self-assured in the presence of his girlfriend, like he knows anything and everything.

Some people are just better at leveraging their good fortune than others. Some of us can get a promotion, make more money, and get showered with compliments -- all without letting it change our personalities.

In the case of Don, he has let the windfalls in his life go to his head -- so much so that I don't feel he's even the same person anymore. I applaud him for improving his lot in life, but unfortunately, it has come at the expense of some of his best human qualities.

I don't take kindly to people who change just to impress others -- whether it be friends, bosses, or love interests. I realize certain situations call for one to change his demeanor somewhat, but once you start sensing the person is changing radically, that's when you have to question whether it's a relationship worth keeping.

The second I sense someone walks around with a presumptous "I'm better than you" attitude, that's when I cut them off.

What do you make of people who try too hard to impress others, drastically changing their persona in the process?

For prior posts, please click this link: How to Understand People

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...