Skip to main content

Here's what you should never expect others to do

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to have high expectations of other people. Simply put, we expect people to think or act like us in a given situation, but wind up disappointed when it doesn't pan out.

This can lead us to put our thinking caps on and probe into the possible reasons why this individual failed to live up to our expectations. We can drive ourselves batty doing this!

I'm here to give you a tip you should always keep in mind -- one that will serve you well in life, whether you're dealing with your boss, friends, or partner:

Instead of expecting people to keep their word and come through for you all the time, expect them to let you down instead. 

That way, when they do deliver as promised, you'll be pleasantly promised. When they don't, well, it isn't like it'll catch you by surprise, right?

This is my own strategy for preemptively priming myself for the worst-case scenario. People who do this are what you'd call proactive.

You may be thinking that this approach reflects a certain level of cynicism. To be honest, I'm not at all cynical. But the bottom line is that I have had so many people let me down in life that I knew I had to find a way mentally prepare myself for the worst.

At the end of the day, people have vastly different personalities. Two people can view the same situation in disparate ways. People are unpredictable. A person can call himself your friend today and turn his back on you tomorrow.

That's why you should always expect the unexpected! 

Relying too much on other people is never a good idea. I'm not saying you should never trust another person, but even the most reliable of people can sometimes fall short of our expectations.

Therefore, do yourself a favor and reframe your thoughts. Readjust your expectations. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Sooner or later, someone will let you down. It's best to be prepared whenever that happens.

What do you think of this tactic? Do you find yourself putting too much trust in others and winding up disenchanted?

For previous entries, please click here: How to Understand People

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...