Skip to main content

Here's something SUPER annoying people do...

Have you noticed that when certain people prod you to do something or go somewhere you may have little interest in -- say, babysit for them or join them on a road trip -- they expect you to follow through, but when it's you making the plans, they suddenly feel they have the flexibility to duck out on you?

I've noticed a lot of people I know -- some close friends, even -- do this quite often.  Double standard, anyone?

These people do to others what they don't want done to them -- a clear violation of the so-called Golden Rule.

What's most frustrating is that many of these people assure us it "won't happen again," and yet they never seem to kick the habit.

"Fool me once -- shame on you. Fool me twice -- shame on me."

If a person continues to leave you hanging, you really have two options:

(1) Tell him or her that if she doesn't start honoring commitments -- like you do for your friend -- you will cut the cord on the friendship. Make it clear that hypocrisy isn't going to fly.

(2) Accept that's just the way your friend is and feel free to be lax when it comes to arrangements the two of you make. Giving your friend a piece of his or her own medicine doesn't always seem like the most mature way to go about it, but you can't let anyone step on you and get away with it.

Have you been in this situation before? How did you deal with it?

For earlier posts, please click here: How to Understand People


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...