Skip to main content

Here's something SUPER annoying people do...

Have you noticed that when certain people prod you to do something or go somewhere you may have little interest in -- say, babysit for them or join them on a road trip -- they expect you to follow through, but when it's you making the plans, they suddenly feel they have the flexibility to duck out on you?

I've noticed a lot of people I know -- some close friends, even -- do this quite often.  Double standard, anyone?

These people do to others what they don't want done to them -- a clear violation of the so-called Golden Rule.

What's most frustrating is that many of these people assure us it "won't happen again," and yet they never seem to kick the habit.

"Fool me once -- shame on you. Fool me twice -- shame on me."

If a person continues to leave you hanging, you really have two options:

(1) Tell him or her that if she doesn't start honoring commitments -- like you do for your friend -- you will cut the cord on the friendship. Make it clear that hypocrisy isn't going to fly.

(2) Accept that's just the way your friend is and feel free to be lax when it comes to arrangements the two of you make. Giving your friend a piece of his or her own medicine doesn't always seem like the most mature way to go about it, but you can't let anyone step on you and get away with it.

Have you been in this situation before? How did you deal with it?

For earlier posts, please click here: How to Understand People


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...