How many times have you expected for your friend or partner to act a certain way, but he or she fails to deliver? I'm sure you've lost count, and so have I.
As much as can urge someone to act a certain way (or differently than the norm), old habits die hard. It isn't easy for a messy person to become tidy, a lazy individual to become driven and self-motivated, or a procrastinator to become punctual.
I have found that when I expect too much of someone -- when I set that bar a wee bit too high -- they end up disappointing me. If you're like me, you have a tendency to give people second, even third, chances. But as the saying goes: "Fool me once -- shame on you. Fool me twice -- shame on me."
When it's close friends and spouses who are the offenders, we continually give them free passes, because, after all, we care about them.
So you have to determine the following: Are you being unreasonable in your expectations, or has the person become so accustomed to getting his way that he's taking advantage you?
That's an important determination to make, because if he is taking advantage of you, you'll have to get firm and demand that he cease this type of behavior.
If, on the other hand, you're being a tad rigid, try loosening up a bit. For example, if you wish for your spouse to help more around the house and lose his sloppy ways, don't expect for him to become a neat freak overnight. It takes time for people to change, assuming they are genuinely interested in doing so.
Sometimes, as hard as you may try, you will not succeed at getting someone to change an old habit or quirk that you may take issue with.
As much as can urge someone to act a certain way (or differently than the norm), old habits die hard. It isn't easy for a messy person to become tidy, a lazy individual to become driven and self-motivated, or a procrastinator to become punctual.
I have found that when I expect too much of someone -- when I set that bar a wee bit too high -- they end up disappointing me. If you're like me, you have a tendency to give people second, even third, chances. But as the saying goes: "Fool me once -- shame on you. Fool me twice -- shame on me."
When it's close friends and spouses who are the offenders, we continually give them free passes, because, after all, we care about them.
So you have to determine the following: Are you being unreasonable in your expectations, or has the person become so accustomed to getting his way that he's taking advantage you?
That's an important determination to make, because if he is taking advantage of you, you'll have to get firm and demand that he cease this type of behavior.
If, on the other hand, you're being a tad rigid, try loosening up a bit. For example, if you wish for your spouse to help more around the house and lose his sloppy ways, don't expect for him to become a neat freak overnight. It takes time for people to change, assuming they are genuinely interested in doing so.
Sometimes, as hard as you may try, you will not succeed at getting someone to change an old habit or quirk that you may take issue with.
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