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Why single people flirt with married ones

It's a common occurrence these days for married people to get hit on by singles. Apparently, that ring on the finger does little to deter these relentless individuals.

So why does this happen?

For starters, we've all heard the phrase "you want what you can't have." Married people are off the market, but that seems to make them all the more irresistible in the eyes of the unshackled. It's like that forbidden fruit you shouldn't touch, but have a hard time resisting.

Second, what makes a married person more attractive is the mere fact that someone liked him or her enough to make a long-term commitment. That immediately raises the person's value in the flirt's book, not to mention the fact that married people are more sexually experienced.

Next, people do it because they've convinced themselves that nothing wrong will come of such behavior. They think along these lines: "Hey, it's just a little harmless flirting. He'll go home to his wife tonight and everything will be fine. No biggie." Unfortunately, things can escalate quickly if the flirting is reciprocated and becomes routine.

Single people are more prone to engaging in this kind of behavior when they feel lonely, just got out of a relationship (especially if it was on bad terms), or are simply in need of attention from someone of the opposite sex. Just like the married person gets a major ego boost from the flirting, it's a major shot in the arm for the flirt when the married one reciprocates.

We all experience increased levels of self-confidence and heightened feelings of self-worth when people flirt with us. If you're married and on the receiving end of the flirting, such behavior may make you uncomfortable and lead to feelings of guilt or regret.  If you feel the flirt is crossing the line, remind him or her -- in a respectful manner, of course -- that you're married and completely faithful to your spouse. People will usually back away once you take a stand and call the offender out on his or her inappropriate advances.

 There's no denying it feels good to get hit on by the opposite sex, but that in no way makes it right. If you're not careful, "harmless flirting" can devolve into all-out cheating.

Do you know of single people who flirt with married individuals? Have you found yourself in this situation?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hmmm... There's another reason. I'm more likely to flirt with married men for fun (than single men for fun) because it's understood that the flirting with a married guy is not serious.

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