I've noticed that many friends, relatives, and close family members tend to pull a disappearing act once someone ties the knot.
Why exactly does this happen?
The only thing that springs to mind is that they worry they could call or show up at the wrong time and upset the spouse, who's now regarded as having more of a say over the other person's day-to-day plans.
"I'd better not call -- he's probably out with the wife anyway." This kind of thinking is especially characteristic of people who themselves are single. You would think that married couples might be more apt to hang out together since they share the same life stage; the same goes for couples who've recently had kids.
To piggyback on a point I made in an earlier post, relationships and friendships gradually dwindle when both parties find themselves at different stages of their lives. A recently married couple with no plans to have kids in the near future will not have the same interests and priorities as a couple with three kids. And neither will have much in common with those hitting the local club for "singles night."
Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that relationships evolve our time. People come into our lives at different points and serve a specific purpose then. It doesn't mean we should expect those relationships to be immune to change. All we can take with us into our next relationships are fond memories and valuable lessons learned along the way.
Why exactly does this happen?
The only thing that springs to mind is that they worry they could call or show up at the wrong time and upset the spouse, who's now regarded as having more of a say over the other person's day-to-day plans.
"I'd better not call -- he's probably out with the wife anyway." This kind of thinking is especially characteristic of people who themselves are single. You would think that married couples might be more apt to hang out together since they share the same life stage; the same goes for couples who've recently had kids.
To piggyback on a point I made in an earlier post, relationships and friendships gradually dwindle when both parties find themselves at different stages of their lives. A recently married couple with no plans to have kids in the near future will not have the same interests and priorities as a couple with three kids. And neither will have much in common with those hitting the local club for "singles night."
Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that relationships evolve our time. People come into our lives at different points and serve a specific purpose then. It doesn't mean we should expect those relationships to be immune to change. All we can take with us into our next relationships are fond memories and valuable lessons learned along the way.
Comments