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A can't-miss tip to help you deal with people

Here's one important tip to remember when navigating the vagaries of human relationships:

You don't have to choose between being kind and drawing boundaries. Both can be done simultaneously.

 In other words, you can be courteous without permitting others to step over you. You can be firm without launching into an expletive-laced
tirade.

Unfortunately, some people struggle to walk this fine line. They can't help but vacillate between outright rage and saccharine kindness.

You'venbecause a person likes you doesn't mean they respect you.

And if you never stand up for yourself -- in a diplomatic manner, of course -- they'll just assume they can get away with everything and anything.

This extends to all relationships in your life -- your marriage, your friendships, and your work relationships included.

Now, standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean engaging someone in a fight, whether of the verbal or fist variety.

In fact, merely walking away sends this clear message:

"I WILL NOT give you the satisfaction of seeing me lose my cool, especially not around my friends or co-workers. My walking away doesn't mean you've won; it only means I no longer see any point in trying to mend fences, and my life would be far better without you in it."

If the other person has failed to reciprocate the kindness and respect you've shown them, you can either raise the issue in conversation or, you guessed it, walk away.

Decent individuals will respect your gesture and return the effort in kind, while those not worthy of your time will do just the opposite.

Those who say you can't be nice and steadfast at the same time are incorrect.

The key is to make clear (early on) that as much as you like and respect them, you will not allow them to:

  • Do whatever they want
  • Trifle with your feelings 
  • Stifle your voice
  • Treat you like garbage
  • Take you for granted
If they take exception to this, they're always welcome to get lost.

Because the fact of the matter is that nothing gives anyone -- man or woman, kid or adult, janitor or CEO -- the right to view others as less deserving of respect than themselves. 

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