Skip to main content

People love to criticize THIS about others

As I've noted in prior posts, many people are regarded as shy, antisocial, or even weird just because they enjoy their own company.

It doesn't matter that they make a genuine effort to interact with others.

Because they're not constantly loud and seeking the spotlight -- and we see this happen all the time in the workplace -- they're labeled as awkward, secretive, and even stuck-up.

And thanks to the press propagating the notion that all dangerous and mentally unstable people are loners, it has made the public fearful of anyone who comes across as reticent.

What many people don't understand is that not everyone feels every thought that pops into their mind should be verbalized. Some of us simply like to observe and think through what we're going to say before opening our mouths.

Introverts draw energy inward. After interacting with people for a good chunk of the day, they seek alone time in order to recharge their batteries. Such time allows them to collect their thoughts.

That being said, some people are just wired in this way. It's not that they're actively trying to run away from people. It doesn't mean they're self-absorbed.

The person in question should communicate clearly and openly that it is nothing personal. They may never quite buy it, but no one should have to seek others' approval for their innate temperament and personality!

If someone doesn't want to be the life of the party, no one should push them to be.

If someone would rather stay home Friday night than go to a party, that should be respected.

Some people become more drained by heavy social interaction than others.

Some people are more contemplative than others.

Rather than viewing such people as quiet and reclusive, why can't people regard them as deep and introspective? Why not give these individuals a chance to warm up to them?

It's a shame people resort to passing judgment, but it's their way of satisfying the ego. If they don't know you well, they figure they have no choice but to fill in the gaps themselves.

If anything, it shows that a quiet person makes them feel insecure. They may wrestle with questions like, "Are they quiet only sound me -- or everyone else?" "Is there something they don't like about me?" "What is their problem?"

Again, some people are just soft-spoken and averse to attention. It may take them a little time to open up, but they shouldn't be labeled unjustly for their demeanor.

It's time to dispel this notion that people who seem to enjoy alone time are secretly begging to be around others, or that they loathe people in general.

Should people, quiet or otherwise, aim to better their social skills? Absolutely. I feel there's always room for improvement.

But they should never be forced to become someone they're not. That will only serve to make them recoil even more.

If you give them a chance, you might be surprised to find a kind soul with whom you can forge a great relationship.

A book should never be judged by its cover.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...