Should relationships always be 50/50?

Nobody would argue that relationships are (or should be) about give and take.

If one finds himself constantly giving but never receiving -- be it love, affection, emotional support -- it won't be long before he realizes things are badly lopsided, potentially prompting him to walk unless the other person begins to appreciate him more.

That being said, many people argue that relationships should be 50/50, with each partner investing an equal amount of time and energy.

But should it always be this way?

While I think partners should certainly strive to contribute proportionally, it can't be this way ALL the time.

If someone has had a bad day at work or isn't feeling well, it makes sense for one partner to be noticeably more giving for the time being. Then, when the other person suffers a similar fate, they, too, should receive the same treatment.

Then there are those cases where both individuals suffer together (e.g., grieving the loss of a mutual friend) and act as each other's rock of emotional support.

In other words, it's normal for partners to switch roles -- between comforter and comforted -- depending on what each is confronting in his or her life.

What is completely unacceptable, however, is for one partner to consciously pull away, forcing the other person to keep the relationship afloat on their own.

Whether they've checked out because they're complacent, being unfaithful, or flat-out indifferent, a 90/10 or 100/0 share is tantamount to abuse, and nobody should stand for that.

If someone senses they have too much of the relationship on their shoulders, they should address their feelings openly. If the other person still fails to act, the sun likely has set on this relationship.

Selfishness can shatter a relationship beyond repair. And what epitomizes selfishness like trying to reap all the benefits of the relationship while doing little to nothing to nurture it?

To conclude, if things are, for the most part, going fine for both partners, then yes -- it should be about 50/50. If a relationship is to survive, it should be built on fairness and teamwork.

Comments

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