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What to do when someone betrays us

We've all been there: Someone who we trust deeply stabs us in the back, and our world comes crashing down in an instant. We may be in denial at first, refusing to accept the fact that someone so near and dear to us could fritter away our trust. Once we come to terms with what has occurred, we may find it difficult to confide in anyone again for a while.

Perhaps you discovered that your partner cheated on you. Maybe you caught your coworker spreading rumors about you behind your back. Or, you realized that your friend of 20 years has been stealing money from you.

No matter the form of deception, it can be devastating. In the worst cases, such events can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem, leading to depression and other negative health outcomes.

So what happens next?

As the victim, that's really up to you. You were wronged and can pursue whatever course of action you deem fair.

If he or she displays genuine remorse -- including a sincere apology that feels like it's coming from the heart -- you may be inclined to give them a second chance.

Or, you may feel that their behavior was so egregious that you'd never be amenable to forgiving them, let alone reconciling.

In the case of marital infidelity, you may seek counseling before you decide pull the plug on your marriage altogether.

Those who go through with burying the hatchet should be commended for their kind, forgiving nature. However, they must keep in mind that if it happened once, it can always happen again. And if it does, this quote may hit you like a lightening bolt: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

Those who have been deceived should never blame themselves for what happened. They might criticize themselves for not picking up on warning signs along the way, or even begin to question whether they deserved it.  The only one in the wrong is the person who took the other for granted.

These experiences show us that even the strongest relationships can tear apart because people are selfish, fallible beings. Trust is difficult to build, but easy to destroy.

It happens to the best of us. Some people are simply masters at trickery -- they know how to appeal to our emotions to get what they want. We fall under their spell, not in a million years suspecting that they could be up to no good.

There's no shortage of liars and fakes in the world. We can only try our best to see through their machinations and avoid them like the plague.

At least we can always take comfort in the fact that karma is alive and well: What goes around comes around.
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